The Freedom of Flying
by LoveTheCrazy
Summary: There are those of us who will do anything to take what we've done back. But no matter how hard you fight it, it's Hitsuzen, and you're screwed anyways. Yuko will always be in her shop waiting. That was the first thing that drew us together. The rest was completely his fault, I swear had no part in it. Fai/OC
1. Episode 0: The Act of Breaking

Hey there….

I know, I know. Starting _another _fic before finishing FTDWE? But this has been bouncing around in my head for a while and it needs to get out there. I _will _finish From the Darkness, just let me get this out there first!

Enjoy Minions!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tsubasa RESERvoir Chronicles. All names and places are property of CLAMP with the exception of original characters.**

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**~O~**

"_Syaoran!"_

"_He changed so you could smile!"_

"_That heart may come from someone else, but it's yours."_

"_The fact that you consider Sakura your most precious person doesn't come from my heart, it's from you!"_

_I watched, as the boy I had traveled with for so long single handedly broke all of our hearts. I was standing next to Kurogane, I could feel his confusion, his anger, radiating off him in waves. This…thing had Syaoran's body, but it was not the boy whose hair I'd affectionately ruffle as I walked past. Not the boy who could be such a klutz and scatterbrain, but infinitely wise and quick. The one who'd go to the ends of the universe to get the memories of the girl he loved back. No matter the price. The soulless thing I was seeing was not Syaoran. _

_I gritted my teeth, "Remember your heart Syaoran! Remember!"_

_He didn't even flinch as he landed another brutal blow to his doppelganger, not even hesitating as Sakura let out another anguished cry. My grip tightened on the tonfa blades in my hand. _

"_Eri." I turned to Kurogane, who was holding up Fai's beaten body. The pit of my stomach tightened at the sight of him. He had blood streaming down his already pale face; the red stuff was smeared all over. _

"_Eri," Kurogane ground out, "Get to Sakura," He glanced at me, "The one who is supposed to protect her obviously can't right now." I took one last look at Fai, the one who had saved me so many times. He continuously put himself in danger to protect others. It was no wonder the fair-haired man held my heart. And now here he was, in this state. I couldn't even protect him. I turned away and leaped across the tendrils that surrounded the area. _

_Sakura was in some type of bubble, the feather beside her. She had tears streaming down her face, she was broken._

_I wasn't expecting the two Syaorans fight to be over so quickly, "our" Syaoran had knocked his doppelganger into a wall and was upon me before I had time to react. A devastating kick to the gut and the feel of cold steel sliding through my abdomen was all it took for me to black out._

_When I woke up, things were worse._

_Everything was falling apart._

_Syaoran was gone, leaving his doppelganger behind._

_Fai was going to die, unless helped by the vampire twins who refused to do so. _

_Kurogane could barely keep himself together, let alone everyone else._

_Sakura was gone on a suicide mission._

_We were breaking. The only person who could fix us was the one who had broken us in the first place._


	2. Episode 1: The Price of Knowledge

**AN: Yo. So. I lied. I am going to keep updating this because FTDWE is frustrating me. I hope y'all enjoy and hopefully review!**

**Disclaimer: All characters and places are property of CLAMP, with the exception of all original characters and plotlines. All original characters are property of LoveTheCrazy2012.**

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I woke up, a strangled noise coming out of my mouth. The room was dark, Sakura's small form breathing lightly beside me. I shuddered. That dream. What was that?

_There he stood, water and blood dripping off his body in equal amounts. One eye had changed color-_

I gripped my head as a sharp pain shot through it, my long black hair slipping over my shoulders. My stomach lurched and I launched myself off the bed, making it to the bin just in time to promptly empty my stomach contents. I retched one last time, trying to ignore my now pounding head and unpleasant crawling feeling in my stomach. Managing to push myself onto my feet, I slowly stumbled into the small bathroom down the hall.

This new world we had found ourselves in, it was called Ôto Country. It was a curious place; the world had an unspoken set of rules it seemed, and every being - sentient or otherwise - followed them. There were demons here; or as the people here called them Oni. These "Oni" never attacked during the day, and they never attacked people who weren't designated to hunt them. Or they weren't supposed to. Apparently they had started attacking the innocents of the town for no reason.

I gurgled the water around my mouth before spitting it out. I glanced up into the mirror; my hair had grown longer since we began this journey of ours. What had once reached mid-back now traveled to my tailbone. I brushed my bangs to the side of my face and watched my dull green eyes stare back. Eri Tsukunori. The girl who ran from her death and abandoned others to her fate; a disgusting excuse of a human being.

I pushed away from the counter, ignoring the shaking in my hands. I walked lightly down the stairs, trying to keep quiet. I paused, looking at the tall form by the window.

Kurogane barely turned when I stood next to him. "Can't sleep?"

I shook my head, "Bad dream," My voice came out hoarse. "You?"

He looked back out the window, "I don't like this country-"

"You don't like any country that isn't your own."

He looked slightly amused before he grunted, "It reminds a bit of my country. We had monsters like these in my country." His country, he still had a place there. He just needed to get back.

I glanced up at the man who had, albeit unwillingly, become the base of our group. Sakura was our heart, Syaoran was our soul, Kurogane was our rock, and Fai was our spirit. He kept us going no matter what happened. And then there was me. Eri. The girl responsible for the murder of a nation.

"You'll be back before you know it," I smiled up at him. "You just have to be patient."

He grunted, "Go to bed, kid."

I let out a chuckle, "I'm not exactly a kid. Being 22 is a little far from childhood."

He pushed my head, "You're still a kid to me, kid." He finally glanced down at me, red eyes tired. "Someone should get some sleep around here. Why not you?"

I sighed, "Fine, but I'm staying down here. You need sleep too, whether you think so or not." He pushed me away lightly and I gave him one last grin before plopping down on the couch. I had to hand it to Fai; he had fixed the place up nicely. I glanced around the café, it was well put together. They would do fine.

I shut my eyes, Kurogane was right, I needed sleep. In Jade Country a pile of debris had fallen on top of me while I helped Sakura escape with Syaoran, and now a large bruise covered most of my back. It was smarting a lot, and I gasped slightly as I settled back on it. I was just slipping into sleep; Kurogane's near silent breath was soothing, the ninja-man's presence giving me a sense of security.

_Pale face. Blood streaming from one eye. The pale one was being dragged across the floor by the other one. There he stood, water and blood dripping off his body in equal amounts. One eye had changed color-_

"Eri!" I launched myself off the couch and into the niche in the wall beside the window. Kurogane was opposite of me, his gaze alternating from me to the window. Either he was choosing to ignore what I'm sure was my very pale complexion or he didn't notice it in the near pitch black darkness that had suddenly surrounded the café.

My only weapons that I could reliably use were left back in my home country, and Kurogane's sword was his price to Yuko. He only had a flimsy steel one that apparently wasn't going to cut it. We were defenseless against an unknown enemy. Kurogane and Syaoran were signed up to be Oni hunters, but Fai conveniently forgot to add me to that list.

The shadows kept moving across the windows, and I felt a grip on my arm. Syaoran. He settled beside me, on alert.

Then the window imploded. And all hell broke loose.

They were on us immediately. I shifted into Syaoran's blind spot, keeping them off the kid.

They flew into the room like rising smoke. One of them latched onto my shoulder and I could hear the tearing of my flesh against its talons. I grasped for it, the magic that usually lay dormant jumped to my fingers, frying the creature instantly. I threw a kick at another that was rushing towards us, throwing it back through the window. They were crowding us now, and I felt Syaoran's back leaning against mine.

"Hey," I muttered, "I'm going to distract them, and then I need you to go all out, alright?"

He nodded, gripping my arm quickly before pushing off. I let the magic flood through my body again, the actual power of it actually shocking my body still for a moment. But that was the moment they needed. They pounced, and I let loose, trying to ignore the fact that Fai and Sakura were on the staircase watching. Sakura with wide eyes, hand covering her mouth. Fai with that smile of his that never reached his eyes.

I ground my teeth at the tangible pain that jolted through me when the magic left my body through my fingers. The Oni evaporated around me, the three of us steadily picking them off until there was only one left. Kurogane almost gleefully chopped its head off, leaving it to fade away.

The ninja-man was grinning, "If that doesn't wake you up, I don't know what will!"

I massaged my hands, "I thought you said we should try to sleep?"

His grin expanded, "I lied."

"Jerk."

"You didn't want to sleep anyways!"

"I said I couldn't, not that I didn't want to!"

"Now, now..." Was Sakura's nervous voice, breaking us away from the small argument. I grinned at the small girl; "It's alright Sakura, Kuro-san and I were just having a conversation about which of us needs to sleep more."

"Don't you dare start calling me weird names too!" Was his yelled reply.

She giggled, and Syaoran moved to ask her if she was hurt in the fight. I turned to Fai.

I leaned against the counter of the bar, "Sorry about the window." With a small smile, "We weren't exactly expecting them to break our house, again."

He laughed, "I really hope so, because I might get mad at you if you keep letting them do it!" He grinned playfully down at me; it still didn't reach his eyes.

I leaned backwards against the counter. It was close enough to morning that I didn't even want to try to go back to sleep. Kurogane was bringing the ladder out again. Sakura and Syaoran were doing their adorable love-dovey thing again. And here I was with Fai.

We were quite the group.

"Eri," Came Fai's soft voice, "You never did tell us what caused you to want to travel away from your world," Random question. But that was right, I hadn't. And didn't expect to. Fai's requests, and mine, were the same. To never go home; to travel the dimensions, but never return to our home worlds.

_"I'm sorry my dear, but you are ill. That is the source of your power. To have power is to kill oneself."_

I swallowed hard, "No, I didn't."

He grinned down at me, "And I expect that means you won't tell me?"

I glanced up at him, my somewhat good mood fading away. "It's not a pretty story Fai."

"Well, I expect none of ours are."

I watched him. Fai was an extremely good looking man. Fair hair, extremely tall, a magician, and always has a smile ready - even if they're never quite real. Why does that bother me so much? "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

"That can be taken very badly Ri-Ri!"

I laughed, "Only if you take it that way!" I looked up at him, smiling, "You're the one who thought of it, don't blame me if it's your mind that thought it up!" I couldn't help tease him; he did it to me all the time.

He lightly smiled, "I can't help it if you make me think that way, Ri-Ri." It was a warm smile that made my heart stop for a moment. What did he say? He moved in closer, taking my arm gingerly in his hands and examined my bloodied shoulder. It twinged rather badly now that he reminded me of it. I let out a hiss of pain as he twisted my arm to the side.

"We've got to get you cleaned up!" He let out a small grin; "If Ri-Ri doesn't take care of herself she'll get hurt even more! You're already recovering from another injury - you should take it easy!" He pulled me behind the counter and took out a small first-aid kit.

"I need to work my fair share too! Plus, I want to help Sakura and Syaoran!" I winced as he pressed the clean pad against the wound.

He gripped my chin softly, "You won't be any help to us if you keep getting yourself hurt."

"It's not my fault if they keep going for me." I grumbled and looked away as the heat rushed to my face. Look at this; he was making me feel like I was my sixteen-year-old self who had just met a boy for the first time.

"He's right," Kurogane grunted, throwing back some kind of drink. "You're no use if you're just gonna keep getting yourself hurt."

"Okay, okay, I get the message." I grumbled, irritated. I watched Sakura amble up the stairs with Mokona, presumably to get dressed. Syaoran came and sat next to Kurogane.

"We'll need supplies to fix the window, it seems." He mumbled thoughtfully, "The Oni pretty much destroyed it."

I nodded, "I'll do that then. Better than walking around town all day."

"You could always work with Sakura-chan and I in the café, Ri-Ri!"

"Like hell, Fai."

"That magic," Kurogane interrupted, "I've never seen you use it before." He was obviously referring to the fight. I thought back, he was right. I had never used my magic before. How odd, I thought I had. Yes, in fact, I know I had. I had kept the wall from collapsing in on Sakura and I after the first bit had hit me. And before that in Koryo Country against the Ryanban's son while Syaoran moved forward.

I settled my gaze on Kurogane, "You may not have, but Sakura and Syaoran have."

Syaoran nodded, "That's right, she used it the last two places we've been to."

Kurogane stared at me, "That might have been a nice thing to mention."

I grinned, "Is Kuro-san angry that he got left out of something?"

"NO! I'm just saying it would have been a good thing to know!"

I laughed, which turned into a squeal as Fai finished tying the wrap he made around my shoulder, kissing it lightly.

"Did you have to do that?" I muttered, gripping the counter.

"It'll help it heal! A kiss from a prince!"

"You're a magician Fai; you could've just healed it." I pulled the sleeve of my shirt back up, "Gah, forget it, I'm going to get dressed. Then I'll get the window supplies. Alright?"

Syaoran nodded and gave a small wave, "We'll probably be gone before you come back. Kurogane is going to train me, so we're leaving early. We're heading to the weapons shop to pick up some better weapons than we have now. They just won't cut it with these Oni."

I grinned, "Little Syaoran is all grown up now! He gonna get a sword!"

The boy blushed, "It's not that big of a deal..." He mumbled quietly. I cackled, and ruffled his hair.

"Sure it is. It means you're turning into a man now!"

Kurogane smiled slightly, "You and the magician are perfect for each other. Now go get changed, and be careful of that wrapping!"

I waved him off and jogged up the stairs, chuckling still. This is why I like traveling with these people. When I wasn't near them, I was alone with my thoughts, which was dangerous. They distracted me. I could breathe around them. It also helped that I was rather fond of a certain fair-haired magician with the sad smile.

I grabbed the clothes that Fai had brought back for me yesterday. At least they were decent, you could never really tell with him. I pulled on the sleeveless turtleneck dress that came in at the waist, expanding slightly. I slipped on the long black trench coat of the same length over it and laced up my black dress boots, letting out a sigh.

My magic usually slept when I didn't use it, unlike Sakura, whose magic was boiling just beneath the surface. And she didn't even realize it.

I winced as I remembered the painful shock of the magic jumping through my veins. It was always like that now-a-days. I was running out. That was my price, well, more of a gift.

_The body he was carrying was familiar, the shaggy fair hair..._

I gasped as white hot pain shot through my head again, grasping at my hair. What was that? I tried to recall what I had seen, but it wouldn't come into sight. And trying to was only going to make the oncoming migraine worse. I took several shallow breaths, focusing on alleviating some of the pressure building up.

"Eri?" Came Sakura's soft voice from the door. "Is something wrong?"

She stood with worry on her face right in front of me, hands resting on her knees as she looked down. "Should I get the others?"

I shook my head - bad idea - ignoring the pain that flooded back in. I slowly pushed off the bed, trying not to jostle myself needlessly. "No, I'm alright. Just a little dizzy." Sakura was what every human should aspire to be. She was kind, caring, smart (if a little ditzy at times), understanding, and most of all; she understood when someone didn't want to talk. Unlike dear Fai.

She lent me her hand and led me to the door, "I'm going to come to the shop with you. Fai-san is going to town too, to get some supplies I think!" She smiled and moved quickly down the stairs. I followed at as fast of a rate as I could, holding onto the railing with a death grip.

Sakura hopped off the bottom step, turning to me with a smile. "Syaoran-kun and Kurogane-san left just a couple minutes ago. But Fai-san and I will be coming with you!" She smiled one last time as I reached the bottom, and made her way out the door.

I felt an arm slide under my own and lift it up, "May I offer you my arm?" Fai was smiling down on me. "It looked like if I didn't you'd fall as soon as we stepped outside." I nodded, slightly dazed by his bright smile. I'd like to see his real smile one day. We followed Sakura down the road from the house slowly and I could tell Fai was deliberately slowing his naturally long stride. "You seem to quite out of it today, you can tell me if something's bothering you. I'm a good listener, just ask Mokona!" I heard the little creature's answering shriek from Sakura's shoulder.

I laughed slightly, the pain dulling somewhat. I grinned up at him, a tad hesitant, "I know that. I just don't want to worry everyone over nothing."

"Well, we can't help if you don't tell us."

"True," I sighed, "I've just been having these weird, I don't know, flashes or something." I scratched the back of my head, "I can't even remember them afterwards. All I know is that they hurt." I watched as Sakura led us into town, Mokona hopping around her.

"Ri-Ri just gets more interesting everyday!" Fai was saying with a smile. But for once, I could catch the actual emotion that was swimming underneath the surface. Worry. Fai was worrying about me. I smiled slightly and poked his forehead.

"Don't worry about me, Fai. I'll be fine!" It was then, as I leaned back, that I noticed how close we had gotten as we walked. I was practically glued to his side while he had nearly fused our arms together. He was also cradling my fingers in his hand.

And there goes the blush.

"U-uh, I think Sakura and I should go now." I moved away, grasping my hands to my chest.

Fai let out a small laugh, "Do I make you nervous, Ri-Ri?"

His bright blue eyes peered down at me, amusement flashing. "Oh shut up," I mumbled, looking away. "Of course you don't." Lies. Utter Lies. He makes me want to jump off the closest building most of the time, just so I'll stop being so damn nervous. "Go get what you needed!"

He laughed, "I make Ri-Ri nervous!"

"I said you didn't, so stop it!"

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Beta Note: Also, hi. – Allie. :D


	3. Episode 2: The Burden of Memories

**AN: Hey there, slightly shorter chapter here, but the others will be longer. Keep up with what I'm doing on tumblr! www . lovethecrazyfiction . tumblr .com**

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**~O~**

"_Princess Emerald…she isn't here…" I watched as Sakura whipped her head around, grasping Fai's arm to stay upright. _

"_It's like Yuuko said! When the thing that worries the spirit the most no longer exists, they'll leave." Mokona mumbled sadly._

_They went on to talk of how we were being, but I kept my eyes on the sad girl in front of me._

"_Princess? Are you worried about her?"_

_She turned to me, wide-eyed, "No." She shook her head, "No, I'm just hoping she found peace." She paused, "I'm sorry you got hurt for me Eri-san."_

_I smiled, "Call me Eri, and you don't need to worry about it. I promised that I would help protect you,"_

_She started to protest, but I cut her off, "I'm happy to help you whenever you need it." I could tell she didn't like it, but she nodded anyway._

"_Thank you Eri-san."_

"_Just Eri!" I admonished, patting her on the head._

_She smiled, "Only if you call me by my name!"  
"I will, Sa-ku-ra!" I sang._

_She gave one last giggle, "Thank you, Eri."_

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"Eri?"

I hummed in response, waiting for the delivery man to complete our order.

"Why did you look so flushed when you met up with me in the shop?"

Innocent question. Completely innocent. Then why the hell am I suddenly blushing and feeling like I'm about to blow chunks?

Lovely image, isn't it?

"W-well, you know how Fai is, he likes to tease people. And that's what he did." True. Somewhat. He also made me feel like a complete idiot and want to boil puppies if that's what it took to get rid of the butterfly feeling.

"Oh," Sakura smiled, "Well, I hope he doesn't tease you too much. He does do that sometimes!" She went off humming again.

She's too happy for her own good.

Fai. He was extremely good looking. I could appreciate that in a strictly aesthetic manner. He had an annoying habit of treating his life like nothing, often putting himself in dangerous situations to save us. He was always smiling, yet was terribly sad at the same time. His overly abundant happiness was somehow hollow.

He was interesting, that was how I could sum it up. I couldn't fully explain it. He was Fai. That was it. That was my explanation for anything he ever did. So the reason I got so flustered over one little comment was because he was Fai. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Yo, lady." I blinked as the sales man waved his hand in front of my face, "We're all done here, and we'll have the supplies delivered to your house in an hour or so. Up the hill, right?

I nodded, "Yes, up the hill." I shook my head a little. Reality Eri, you might want to take part in it. "Thank you!" I called over my shoulder. I looked around for Sakura out on the street. She had vanished from my sight. Not again. She had a penchant for wandering off that often got her in dangerous situations.

"Sakura!" I called; I started jogging down the street, "Stop walking off on your own!" I scanned the crowd that I was wading through. The sheer mass of humanity that was hitting me didn't allow me to look over heads for the small auburn-haired girl.

I elbowed my way into an opening, a pathway through the park. I sighed, catching sight of a familiar serving girl dress. I jogged up to said wayward princess. "You know you have to stop wandering off, you could get seriously hurt!"

She jumped, turning around. "Eri!" She at least had the sense to look apologetic, "Sorry, it's just that I saw this and..."

I peered past her shoulder. Ah, I see now. It was Syaoran and Kurogane. They were walking somewhere. grinned, "You two are cute." She blushed and dropped her head, "But tell me next time, and bring me with you! I was seriously worried for a bit!" I ruffled her hair a little.

She smiled warmly, "I will."

I slung my arm around her shoulder; "Shall we find our fair-haired magician and go home?"

A laugh, "We shall!" I pulled her back into the crowd, not missing the discreet nod that Kurogane sent my way. I kept a firm grip on her wrist as we pushed against the crowd, finally making it to the foodstuffs store that I remembered Fai saying he was going to stop at.

The door opened and Fai stepped out just as we got to the doorstep, "Sakura-chan! Ri-Ri! I wasn't expecting to see you so soon!" Mokona squealed from his shoulder.

"Mokona got scolded for taking a flour bath!"

Sakura laughed, "Because you're not supposed to take a bath in the flour!"

"But it looked so soft and white and weee~!"

I grinned, and turned to Fai, "I have to pick up one last thing, so could you stay with Sakura?"

He nodded, and his tone turned teasing, "Are you avoiding me now, Ri-RI?"

I scoffed, ignoring the nerves gnawing at my chest. "No, I'm not. I just have to pick one last thing up!"

He laughed, "Alright, we'll go back to the café and get set up. I let Kuro-tan bring the flour up!"

I shook my head; "One of these days he's going to murder you in your sleep."

Fai laughed again, "That's the fun part!"

I shook my head one last time, grinning. "I'll see you both later!" I hurried on my way to town hall, wanting to avoid Kurogane and Syaoran who I knew were running around here somewhere.

Spending the morning with Sakura just reminded me of how much I needed to help her. I wasn't going to be of any help sitting around the café. I pushed open the doors of the sleek building, the woman from before instantly turning towards me.

"Hello! Welcome to Town Hall! How may I help you?" Her chipper voice filled up the room.

Wincing slightly, I answered, "Yes, I was wondering where I could go to obtain information about any strange things happening around here?"

She cocked her head to the side, "You could try talking to other Oni hunters, or go to local gathering places. I am afraid I do not understand your meaning of 'strange things"."

"You know things that don't normally happen. Like the Oni attacking our home and citizens." I leaned against the counter.

Her face remained blank, "All Oni are regulated by the principality. There have been several unwarranted attacks at present time. The source is unknown." She paused, then added, "Like I have said, try talking to other Oni hunters and go to local gathering places."

I nodded, that was obviously all I was getting out of her. I waved over my shoulder as I left, hurrying away. Local gathering places, huh? I walked down the street, searching for places that seemed likely. It was then that I spotted Yuzuriha and her wolf; they had come in with Syaoran and Kurogane the other last night. I waved them down.

"Mouse-chan! Hi!" She greeted brightly, "I didn't think I'd see you out here so early! Are you out getting supplies?"

_Mouse-chan? _I remembered the ridiculous name.

I shook my head; there was really no point in lying to them, especially if I wanted them to help me. "No, I'm helping," I choked on the name, laughter bubbling in my throat, "Little Puppy and Big Puppy." I got out, giggles spilling out.

She shot me an odd look, before answering, "Information about what?"

"The reason the Oni have been acting strangely recently, and other weird things." I ticked them off with my fingers, "Have you heard of anything like that?"

She nodded, and then scrunched up her eyebrows, "Soma was telling me something about a bar? Clover something?" She shrugged, "Anyway, you could start there!" Her wolf tugged on her skirt and she laughed, "Well, I've got to go! He wants lunch!" She gave me one last wave before running off.

I smiled. She was so happy and carefree, she reminded me of Sakura. Right. Sakura. Time to find that bar! I began asking around, and by the time I got a lead it was past noon. I sighed and threw myself down on the bench. The best I got was "Oh yeah! I've been there!" Before the person walked off. So very helpful.

I closed my eyes, dropping my head back. The sun warmed me up, there was a slight wind today and it had chilled me a bit. I had somehow managed to make my way to the park, if only to escape the sudden rush of people. I sighed; I liked this city better when the through traffic was minimal. I had not realized I was dozing off until a very unwelcome voice broke through.

"Hey. You do know it is dangerous to doze off here, right? Jeez, you're getting to be like the princess."

"Kurogane-san!"

I lazily opened one eye and glanced up at the two men in front of me. Syaoran had a slight admonishing look, while Kurogane just looked bored. As per usual.

I sat up, "I was paying attention; I just had my eyes closed." I gave a small grin.

"Bull shit."

I laughed, "Yep! Don't get too mad Kuro-tan." I glanced towards them again, "Where are you two headed?"

"An information broker." Syaoran supplied helpfully, as I ignored the dark glare Kurogane shot me. "We're getting more info on the strange things around town."

I nodded, "Ah, I see. The Puppy Pair is hard at work."

"Yeah, and you're just lazing around doing nothing. At least go back to the café and help out." Kurogane grunted.

I ignored him again; he was muttering something about 'the magician' and 'too damn annoying'. "Will you be hunting tonight?"

Syaoran nodded with an uneasy look on his face as he glanced back and forth between Kurogane and me.

"You'll do wonderfully, I'm sure."

He bowed his head, "Thank you for your faith in me." I laughed, and knocked his chin up.

"Syaoran! We are friends! There's no need to be so formal!" He flushed, causing me to cackle even more.

Kurogane shook his head disgustedly, "No, I was wrong. You're more like that damned dimensional witch."

I grinned wickedly, "I'll take that as a compliment."

"Don't." He rubbed his neck, "The princess and the magician are getting ready for the night shift. I'm sure she'd like to have you around."

I grinned, "Do you really want to get rid of me that much, Kuro-pu?"

"I do since you keep giving me these ridiculous names."

I chuckled, "While it's wonderful that the princess would like to see me, I just don't quite feel like going back just yet."

He shot me his, _you are an idiot and I am tired of it_, look and wordlessly walked away. Syaoran nodded and took after him.

"Nice talk!" I yelled after him. I'm rather sure he flicked me off.

I sighed. I was never going to find this 'Clover' place on my own. I could only hope that those two could find out about it and I could manage to tag along. I started up the path, dread making me go at a snail's pace. Maybe if I take a long time, I can avoid him somehow. Stupid logic, really, he was going to be there no matter how long it took me to arrive.

_You do know their deaths are your fault, correct? Because of your selfish actions, your want to live, everyone you love is dead._

I let out a strangled cry, clutching at my head. I grasped at the tree next to me, trying to stay upright.

_You wish to never return to your home world. Your price? Your good health. Your tolerance to illness will be lowered by half._

I gasped, trying to breathe past the burning in my lungs. What is this? What was bringing this about?

_He only tightened his hold, running his hand through my hair. He was so very warm, and I found myself dozing off again._

I was on my knee now, which was all I was aware of. I sat like that for who knows how long, until the stabbing pain finally subsided. I opened my eyes to sight of grass. I was lying on my stomach, face pressed into the grass. I stayed like that, not willing and not able to move from my position.

I was listening to the chattering of the birds above my head, the wind blowing gently.

There was a loud sigh from above me, and suddenly I was hoisted up over someone's shoulder. Kurogane, of course.

I muttered some kind of greeting, and received a grunt in reply. Syaoran shot me a slightly worried smile.

"What happened, Eri-san?"

I closed my eyes, "My disposition is lowered, remember. I just had a slight asthma attack." That was slightly true. I couldn't really breathe during the whole ordeal.

The large man below me snorted. "Yeah. Right. Asthma."

I crossed my arms on his back, "It's your own fault if you don't believe me."

"You mean it's my fault if I don't believe every piece of utter bullshit that you spew out?"

Ew. "That sounds so disgusting!" Syaoran was watching us bemusedly. I don't think he knew what to say.

"Kurogane-san." He started, "Maybe she really had an asthma attack?"

"You don't have to go through each day worried if the next time you cough up blood you'll whole body will give out! I'm so sick of constantly being afraid!"

"_Are you afraid child?"_

I snapped back into reality at the sound of the older man's voice, "And that kid, is how you can tell everything that comes out of her mouth regarding her wellbeing is a complete load of crap."

"Er, what tipped you off?" Came Syaoran's steady voice from my left. _When did he become a smart-ass?_

"Can it, you two." I croaked, "I just haven't been sleeping well." I paused, "And that's the truth!"

We were nearly to the café now, I could tell that even from my backwards position. "That doesn't explain the dying cat sound you just made." Kurogane grunted. "Forget it. Don't tell me if you don't want to. Just don't expect me to help you when you try to get yourself killed. You and that damn magician are pissing me off too much."

I gave a tight grin, "You really like comparing us, don't you Kuro-pu?" I could understand why, but it didn't make me happy. I didn't act like Fai, did I?

I flinched at the sound of the door being kicked open as he answered, "You're too damn alike, both not valuing your lives in the least." I grunted as he tossed me down onto the couch. I glanced up at his impassive face and smiled again.

"I just like to make you angry, don't I Kuro-tan?"

He walked away, "Get some sleep if you plan on coming tonight. I'm not even sure if I'll let you." Was all he said.

I turned to Syaoran, "Tonight?"

He scratched the back of his neck, "We found out the location of someone who has seen a new Oni who can control other Oni."

I grinned, amused. "Let me guess, a place called Clover?"

He furrowed his eyebrows, "Yeah, how did you know?" He shook his head at my wicked grin, "Never mind, I don't want to know."

I laughed, "Always assuming the worst Syaoran!"  
He grinned, "You make it hard not to Eri-san!"

I let out a short laugh, stopping when the kitchen door opened. _No. No. No. Nope, not doing this right now! _I jerked upright; I was not in the mood for his teasing.

Sakura walked out, nearly tripping over her feet, "You're back!"

Syaoran smiled warmly, "We're back!"

She cocked her head to the side, _Huh. She really does look like a cat. _"Did we see Kurogane carrying over his back, Eri-chan?"

I nodded, "Yep! Kurgs was being mean to me. Like always!"

"Stop lying, witch!"

I whipped my head towards his voice, "Witch is an insult in my country!" The other two laughed.

"Good, it's meant as one." He grumbled, coming back into the room. He took one glance at me, "You're not coming with us." He said flatly.

"Like hell I'm not." I said in a cheery voice, getting off the couch, "You're stuck with me!"  
"That's not such a bad thing," Came a warm, light voice to my left. I sucked in a sharp breath, plastering a smile on my face.

"I'm glad you think so, Fai-san." _Distance, I need distance. _I glanced around the room for any excuse to leave.

His lips twitched down slightly, _stop paying attention to that, _and he cocked his head to the side, "It's always good to have you around, Eri-chan."

I grimaced, "Good to know." _This might be harder than I thought it would be. _

* * *

__Thanks so much for reviews, putting this on your favorites, and alerting it!

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	4. Episode 3: The Attempt to Smile

**AN: Hey! So you all might notice that I update on Mondays! I hope to keep that schedule! I hope you all enjoy this UN-BETA'D chapter! Oh yeah! My birthday is tommorow! (The 19th!)  
**

* * *

**~O~**

We were walking through the street, and currently Fai was teasing Kurogane about being mad about his new…name. I ignored it, letting my mind wander. Not my best idea.

The small girl walked up the steps of the shrine, her older brother holding her hand and helping her.

"_This is our new home Eri!"_

_No. This place was not her home. It was the place she sent to so she could die here._

_This place was the place where they sent people like her. The strange ones. The ones who could do magic._

_The ones who were going to die because of it._

I gasped, thrown back into reality as an Oni landed in front of me. I leaped away from it, wincing as it caught at my ankle, ripping me back to the ground. I heard the street shatter around me, groaning as all of my breath painfully left my body.

My magic jumped through my veins, exploding out of my in a sharp, white light. It was ripping through my skin, burning me from the inside out. I tried to ignore the scream ripping through my lunges as I laid there, my skin scorched. _The hazards of not controlling your magic. _

I gasped as another one landed in front of me, distorted in my blurry vision. I heard a hissing noise, and then a sudden pain in my arms and chest. The thing was tearing into me. I tried, I really did, to make my magic come to the surface, but it wouldn't cooperate. It seemed after the amount I used, with horrible consequences, I was all dried up.

Its claws or talons - or whatever they were - ripped open the wrappings on my shoulder, the wound splitting open again. I could feel more of my own blood pooling around me on the sidewalk. And then, the voice of an angel.

"That's not very nice, you know." The pressure surrounding me was gone and I could breathe again. More importantly, I could move. I could kick whatever the hell that was' ass. _Yes, Eri, like you are in any condition to fight right now._

But of course, he had to take that simple pleasure away from me. Like always.

I blinked slowly; Kurogane tossed away the hilt of what I could assume was his sword. Fai was leaning heavily on Kurogane's scabbard.

The dark-haired man took one look t me and scoffed, "You call that fighting back?"

Trying to respond, I managed to squeak out, "I got a few of them before I turned myself into a human torch."

"I think you destroyed them _while _you were bringing yourself alive, Ri-Ri." Fai smiled quietly.

I laughed, or rather rasped, "Could you help me out a little?" Came my weak reply.

Kurogane grunted, _again_, and picked me up, leaning me against my body as Fai wrapped his coat around me, hiding my now medium rare skin.

I gave a small gesture to the ankle that the blonde was favoring and he gave me another small smile, "I just got clumsy. Don't worry about me! Kur-puu already scolded me!"

"If you don't want me to worry," I croaked, ignoring the feeling that my skin was about to fall off, "Then don't put yourself in stupid situations. And you guys were just standing there while that thing was ripping me to shreds?"

Kurogane hit the top of my head with his fist, "No, I killed those things and then I yelled at the magician, witch." He hit me again and I let out a hiss of pain, "You need to pay attention and stop spacing out, you're worse than the princess. Maybe then you won't end up a human fireball next time."

A woman was standing in the doorway of a business, yelling over to us. "Oh Kuro-tan," I muttered, letting my eyes close, "You really do care."

"Listen kid," He muttered, "We're going to get the information and then get you back to the house, understand?"

I was in la-la land by then, anything to not focus on the excruciating pain of my body cooking inside out.

**~O~**

_The door burst open, and Kalin screamed. I turned to Sachieru; he roughly shoved me into the circle._

_"You have to make it to the witch; someone has to survive to bring revenge to our family." He brought his hands together, the mark on his forehead glowing, "At least this way, your illness will be cured."_

_I couldn't breathe with the magic surrounding me, choking me. My already weak body was failing as it pressed against me. I watched as the men burst in the room, Kalin's body lying motionless behind them. Sachieru threw himself at them, blocking me from their attacks. The magic pressed up against me again, and then I wasn't there anymore. _

_It was raining._

I gasped, holding my hand to my chest, not feeling the raised mark that had once lain there. The scar that marked what I was to the world. The world that I left behind; the world that I killed. The room was dark, I noted, as I wiped the tears from my cheeks. My body was no longer on fire, I didn't feel like my skin was about to peel off. I focused and gulping down air and calming my shaking.

"I take it Kalin and Sachieru are from your home world?"

Of course he was here. Sitting in the window seat. "Yes, they were my brother and sister."

The bed shifted as he sat down beside me, "I'm sorry they were taken from you."

_Blood streamed from the one eye._

The pain shot through my head again, and I grabbed what I thought would be the sheet. He gripped my hand back tightly, his other going to my hair, lightly stroking the back of my head. I gripped my head. I curled into myself, inadvertently moving closer to him. I was crying again, from the pain or the memories that were flooding in nonstop now, I didn't know. But frankly, I didn't care. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close to his body.

_Hello, I am Fai D. Fluorite!_

_"You should be more careful, I'd hate for you to get hurt!"_

_"I think I need to keep close to you Ri-Ri, someone needs to make sure you don't get yourself hurt!"_

_"You're one of a kind, Eri."_

_"Do I make you nervous, Ri-Ri?"_

My heart was beating a hundred times per second, and I couldn't breathe.

This man was taking over my life, my thoughts, and at this moment, my personal space.

I gripped the front of his shirt. I couldn't bring myself to push away, like I knew I should. He wouldn't want to hold me like this if he knew what I had done. If he knew the amount of blood on my hands. I couldn't bear that.

"My brother and sister." I croaked, "They were killed before I left my world," By me.

He only tightened his hold, running his hand through my hair. He was so very warm, and I found myself dozing off again.

"I really need to stop falling asleep in your arms...people might start thinking things." I mumbled, burying my face into the crook of his shoulder.

He held me close, and I thought I heard him whisper softly, "I don't mind..."

But that was surely my imagination.

**~O~**

I woke up again, curled into a ball in the middle of the bed. For some reason I reached out, feeling the slight warmth of the bed beside me. Fai. Apparently, my analysis of my affection for him was completely wrong.

No, no. I couldn't afford that. I was in a bad way last night, that's all there was to it.

I pulled myself to the edge, noticing the lack of pain. I felt along my shoulder and head, noticing the lack of blood and open wounds. My fingers ran over smooth skin.

"I don't find lighting yourself on fire a good way to keep yourself alive," Came Kurogane's gruff voice from the door. "You should have called for one of us. "

I sighed and drug my hand down my face, "I know, I know. It was stupid."

"No, you were stupid," I gave a shocked laugh, "But, I'm glad you're still alive." He ended with a grunt.

"A-about that." I stammered, "How in the world am I alive, let alone healed?"

The ninja shuffled, scratching the back of his neck, "The magician and I took care of it."

I sucked in a breath, "What did you pay?" I whispered, dread slamming into me.

"Calm down," He scoffed, "It was something we could both afford."

I shook my head, not liking it one bit. "You aren't going to tell me what it was, are you?"

He smirked down at me, "Only if you figure it out."

I scowled at him, and he waved me off.

"Come on, let's get you some food." He gestured over his shoulder.

I nodded, "Just let me get cleaned up first. I'm pretty sure I look like I let Mokona give me a make-over."

He grunted, a small smirk pulling at his lips and softly shut the door behind him. It was almost dawn, the sun barely peeking over the clouds. I looked out the windows, watching the sun crest over the clouds, the sudden bright light blinding me.

I pushed myself off the bed, running a hand through my knotted hair, wincing as it caught. Sakura must have changed my clothes, I noticed as I looked down at the tank top and sweats I was wearing. I yanked a brush through the knots in my hair, wincing as it yanked at the roots. I changed back into one of my dresses and stumbled down the stairs, groaning slightly at the stiffness in my shoulder and basically everywhere.

Sakura was sleeping on the couch, Syaoran sitting in front of her, asleep as well. I smiled fondly as I passed them, if those two didn't deserve a happy ending, no one did.

"Hey, come eat." Kurogane called quietly from the counter. I nodded, immediately tucking into the food in front of me. I didn't realize how hungry I was. He didn't say much as I shoveled food into my mouth, just alternated from watching the door, the other two, or me.

"Fai?" I asked, after swallowing. His absence was strange, and I couldn't tell whether I was relieved or disappointed.

"Since the other hunters insist on coming here now, he had to go get more supplies. And some guy came last night and attacked the kid." He crossed his arms, pissed expression crossing over his face. "The kid is all right, but they did some damage." Kurogane grunted. "They keep calling me by that damn name! He was almost sulking. I held back a laugh. He had been rather disgruntled at his new name. I shuddered to think what ridiculous name Fai had thought up for me.

"He seemed rather worked up about you though."

I choked, "W-what? Who?"

The older man smirked, "Nothing, what do you think I said?"

"You are the epitome of the word asshole, Kurogane."

He cuffed me around the head, "Watch it kid, I've saved your life three times over."

"That doesn't stop it from being true, Kuro-tan."

"Shut it."

The door opening interrupted us, the bell going off quietly. Syaoran woke up, head whipping towards the noise. Fai raised his hands up in apology after setting his bags on the table. He was limping. I narrowed my eyes. His limp was not that bad last night.

"Sorry Syaoran! Just me! Go back to sleep!" He waved his hands at him, but the younger boy shook his head.

"I'm awake now, I'll help out." He pulled himself up off the floor, instantly reaching for the bags.

"You're almost too nice Syaoran!" Fai said brightly, bringing the other bags over, slightly struggling with what I realized as a cane.

"He's right," I added, bringing my dishes to the sink, "Didn't anyone ever try to use that against you?" If you ignore him, he isn't there. And not limping. The bastard.

"I doubt the kid would realize it." Kurogane grunted.

Syaoran scratched the back of his neck, "Thanks guys,"

I reached over the counter and Fai's bags to ruffle his hair, "It's a good thing Syaoran; not many people out there are as nice as you."

"The worlds would be better places if everyone was as nice as you!" Mokona piped up from Fai's shoulder.

The flustered boy squirmed under our teasing stares, and quickly mumbled, "I'm going to go wake the princess up..." He shuffled away quickly, and I let out a quiet laugh.

"Those two are absolutely perfect for each other." I turned back to the counter, focusing on putting the groceries away. Definitely not focusing on the gangly wizard just two feet away from me, nope, that definitely isn't what I'm doing. Or thinking about killing him.

Dammit.

"Kurogane, this country has so many cute girls! The one at the store was so helpful! She even told me where we could get more information on the Oni here." Fai was whisking around the room, and I resisted the urge to hold him in one spot. Cute girls? He had said that too when we first arrived here. Do not let it bother you, Eri. I repeat. Do. Not. Let. It. Bother. You. The idiot.

There was a quiet knock on the door, and I released my death grip on the now crumpled pile of napkins I had been holding. "I'll get it," I muttered, making my way to the door. A boy several years younger than me was there, "Wow! I didn't know such pretty girls lived here!'

Um, what?

He was rather tall, his black hair unruly, his blue eyes shining, "I'm Kento! I've brought the materials to fix your window! And the…other stuff." I glanced at the sheet draped pathetically over the open area, and the one area of the cage that was demolished and nodded. And then I noticed the scattered bottles around the room. _What the hell did they do last night? _

"Feel free to do whatever you need to do to fix it." I scratched the back of my head, "I'm Eri, just ask if you have any questions." I led him inside, watching as he got to work, chattering away to me the whole time.

"Did an Oni do this? I hear they've been attacking ordinary people nowadays. You guys run a café though, you shouldn't be made targets." He paused, slightly perturbed.

I nodded, sending a glare Kurogane's direction and gesturing to the bottles. He raised an eyebrow and gestured to the blonde. I took a deep breath and turned back to Kento.

I coughed lightly, "Well, two of us who live here are hunters, so that's maybe why? This is the second time they've done this." _And it is really getting annoying._

The lanky teen instantly paled, "But a pretty girl like you? You aren't one of the one's hunting, are you?" He got up in my face, grasping my arm, "That would be a crime!" I looked over to Kurogane for help, but he just grinned at me like the jerk he was. Fai had a blank look on his face. Ah! Could it be that untouchable Fai is jealous?

Kento was hanging off me like a monkey as I assured him that, no, I wasn't a hunter. Even if it was against my will. That sent him in a tirade that pretty girls, like me, shouldn't ever be put in the line of danger.

Ugh. Barf.

Then he started talking about how I had to let him show me around the city. Oh god no. Abort. ABORT!

I shook him off rather roughly, "Thank you for the offer, but I have some errands I have to run," I gripped my dress in my hands, trying not to throttle the kid, "Alone." I added, as he opened his mouth.

An arm went around my shoulder, "Yes, our Mouse-chan is very busy. She doesn't have time to go gallivanting around town!" Fai. Urgh. I didn't know whether to hit him or thank him.

Kento apologized and eventually I actually got him to do what he came for. To fix our window. Again.

And then I realized something. I turned to Fai. "Mouse-chan?"

He grinned, "Well I had to give you a name! And I thought of Little Mouse!"

Control yourself. Do not go after him. Reserve that pleasure for Kurogane. Repeat, do not go-

"WAH!" I was pulled backwards into an embrace, my back hitting someone's chest. "I hope to see you again Little Mouse!" Came Kento's chipper voice behind me. I squirmed as Fai's face pulled into a small smile.

"Y-yeah. Maybe." I gasped, finally fighting my way out, walking back into Fai, who gripped my arms.

"I think not! Mouse-chan is ours only! Sorry!" He sang out, ushering the young man out the door. "Well, that was fun!"

I let my head drop.

This man...was going to be the end of me.

**~O~**

Kurogane and Syaoran left a little after that. Apparently Syaoran had asked Kurogane to train him with a sword. I was a tad worried; Kurogane wouldn't go easy on him. Syaoran was strong and determined, he would do fine. Sakura though...Sakura would worry until the end of time about him.

I watched her flit about the café, she was so strong and she didn't even realize it. She just cared so much and regardless off her strength, I knew if anything happened to Syaoran, as unlikely as that was, she would break.

Cold eyes. The soul had been sucked out of them. Tears fell from green eyes.

Yes. Sakura would break.

"Ri-Ri looks sad!" Came the squealing voice of Mokona beside me. I smiled slightly.

"I'm not sad Mokona, I'm just thinking." I ran my hand lightly over Mokona's ears.

"Thinking about what?" Fai's soft voice rang from over the counter.

"Just thinking." I answered. I glanced at his can, suspicion coming back with a vengeance. "Fai," I started, trying to keep the sharpness out of my voice. "How's your leg feeling today? I know it was twinging slightly."

He smiled, "It's fine! I'll be in peak condition in no time!"

"Really?" I asked, sickly sweet smile on my face. "Because you seem to be limping more today!"

He tilted his head to the side, "I'm fine Eri-chan!"

"Are you sure you haven't been making any deals with certain dimensional witches? Deals that would heal me at the price of, oh I don't know, maybe the the severity of your injury?"

"Busted! Busted!" Mokona screeched, dancing around the counter.

Fai laughed, "Yep!" He smiled down at me, "It was a price I was willing to pay." He held up a hand to me as I opened my mouth, "I don't want to hear it, Ri-Ri! I did it and it's done!"

I sighed, nodding, "I suppose I should thank you, huh." I gripped his hand, _his hands are so cold! _"Thank you Fai. Even though I don't like it, thank you for doing it."

He smiled again, drawing his hand back, "No problem Eri-chan!" He walked off, leaving me standing there. He wouldn't even hold a conversation with me for several hours. _What the heck? _

**~O~**

* * *

So I'd like to address some flaws some of you have pointed out. Anonymously. Some of the situations/names I use are from the anime, so if you don't recognize them, I'm sorry. Also, some things won't be canon, I'll try to stay true to the manga as I can but this is an OC fic. It won't be completely canon. And some of my writing won't be up to your standards or true to the Japanese language. You'll have to deal with that and I won't apologize if you don't like my writing style. Sorry. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this!

**Send us reviews for LTC's birthday tomorrow!**

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**And We'd Really Like to Not Be Stranded Here**


	5. Episode 4: The Act of Lying

**_"People think that a liar gains a victory over his victim. What I've learned is that a lie is an act of self-abdication, because one surrenders one's reality to the person to whom one lies, making that person one's master, condemning oneself from then on to faking the sort of reality that person's view requires to be faked…The man who lies to the world, is the world's slave from then on…There are no white lies, there is only the blackest of destruction, and a white lie is the blackest of all."_**

_Episode Four: The Act of Lying_

* * *

Admit it.

You've lied. You once told your friend that her skirt looks 'beautiful', when in reality; you thought it was tacky or ostentatious. Why do you lie? Because it's better than hurting your friend's feelings and well…it's better than being slapped right across your face for obnoxious behavior. It's as simple as that. Why do we lie? For protection; it could be someone else's protection, or your _own _protection. Either way, the act of lying is done to protect someone from the bitter consequences of the truth.

A large segment of us – an _unsurprisingly _large segment of us – have also been in denial. A cruel, _cruel _predicament that is. The Oxford English Dictionary's definition of the word 'denial' is _when one refuses to admit the truth or existence of. _

The act of denying the truth is understandably strongly linked to the act of lying; for obvious reasons, of course. As aforementioned, and emphasized, the blatant refusal of the so called 'truth' is done intending to guard someone – or even yourself.

But more often than not, lying to yourself, or even others, just damages someone more than it protects.

**~O~**

It had been two days. Two days since I had fried myself extra crispy. Fai and Sakura had gone out shopping and Kurogane and Syaoran were out training. So I was alone. With my thoughts.

Why in the world did I not go with them?

Oh right. Because Fai had turned despondent and I was slowly but surely driving myself mad with implications and memories.

I was currently sprawled on the couch, staring out our new window. What was I doing here? Fai had the right idea. I shouldn't be making friends. I had proved how…toxic I was back home.

Thesslan.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

"_This is the Shinran Sanctuary, you will be staying here for your training."_

_Sachieru bristled beside me, "This is just rich," he muttered into my ear, "Send you to the place where The Uprising started for your training. Hubristic bastards, the lot of them. The last place was bad enough, but at least they weren't openly baiting you."_

_Kalin shrugged, "Would _you_ try to bait a six-year-old?"_

_I sighed, "I really just can't bring myself to care."_

_He sent a look my way, "Well start. This is our home for the rest of your life."_

_I bit my lip, "My very short life." I couldn't help but hiss. My skin was already turning cold. I felt like the walking dead, not like I was going to die in a few years time. My hair was dulling and drying out. I was pale all the time. I had lost an unhealthy amount of weight. My decline had spanned ten years. I was sent for training at the age of sixteen. That was the agreed age that we could start killing. _

_All for something I never asked for. All because those around me decided I would be a wonderful addition to The Compact._

_My parents decided this. They decided my death. Then they sent my siblings to watch me do it. They sent my siblings to watch while I deteriorated. They sent them to watch me kill._

I woke up to my eyes pricking. I wasn't able to cry over that anymore. I wouldn't let myself. It would be a weakness.

"_Welcome to the Shinran Sanctuary." The doctor droned form across the desk. "It says here you were volunteered for The Compact and were found to have the correct requirements to be infected with the virus." He snapped my file shut, a bitter smile marring his face, "Congratulations. You are officially terminally ill and enrolled in the Thesslan Defense Force. Your training in the magic arts will begin tomorrow morning. Sun up." He paused, "__I'm sorry my dear, but you are ill. That is the source of your power. To have power is to kill oneself."_

_I numbly stood up. Sachieru and Kalin were waiting on the other side of the door. "Well?" Kalin squeaked out, her small form shaking._

_I blinked slowly and pointed at the plaque across the wall, its thin and spiraling letters stared back. "_To have power is to kill oneself."

I sprung from the couch, pacing in front of the window. Suddenly, the café was stifling. I pushed open the door and gasped as the cool, spring air hit me. I rested my head against the cold wall, watching as the cherry blossoms blew through the air.

The sun was setting, lighting the world in fire. The small petals almost glowed in the light. I pushed off the wall as a sudden bright burst came from the road. _The feather? _The slightly pinkish glow was slightly familiar. I set off at a jog, pushing myself faster as the road sloped down. My newly healed skin stretched as my muscles pumped.

I stopped at the end of the decline, breathing hard. The light shined again, from a back road in town. I could already hear Kurogane lecturing. I was going into town. Alone. Unarmed. Nearing night. I was already kicking myself. I pushed off again at a light jog.

The sun was gone by the time I reached a boardwalk. I held myself up by the rail, gasping, trying to ignore the burning spreading through my lungs. I was catching something. I tightened my grip. It felt just like it did after I was infected.

An explosion sounded nearby. I watched as smoke wafted through the air. Along with the smell of blood and burning flesh.

"_We burned the village to the ground. With the people still inside." The teen girl's green eyes dull as she stood in front of her siblings. "Am I enough of a monster for you to kill me yet?"_

I started walking towards the sight with stiff legs. A swarm of Oni surrounded the area with Syaoran and another young boy in the middle. They were outnumbered.

The other boy grabbed Syaoran and started running. _There is honor in living to see another day. _

The Oni were still chasing them, leaping towards them in large numbers.

The air around my hands crackled as my magic rose to the surface of my skin.

They were going to die if I didn't intervene. The words rose to my lips, my hand raising. This is what I was trained to do. This is how I killed for my country. This was my method of murder.

My hand slashed through the air, the lightning bolt stabbing the ground behind them, allowing them to get far enough away to escape. My eyes caught those of the man who seemed to be leading them. The new type of Oni Fai and Kurogane told me about. He gave me a small smile before the Oni lurched towards me.

I stumbled back, landing on my butt. I scrambled across the ground before somehow throwing myself into a run. I jumped off the boardwalk, whimpering as my ankle twisted slightly. The boys came around the corner, Syaoran wide-eyed.

"Eri-san?' He made to stop, but the other boy pulled him along. I kept pace, trying to keep my breath steady. "That lightning…that was from you?" This came out a little breathlessly.

I nodded, "I saw the explosion," I panted.

We were nearly to the path back to The Cat's Eye, but neither boy seemed close to relenting. I was shaking now, visibly, I'm sure. Using that much power when I was already weak from the act I pulled the other night had me running on airs. And, added to the fact that we were running for our lives at a breakneck speed…

They rammed through the door, panting heavily. I leaned up against the frame, holding my stomach. The burning sensation had reached there too.

They were talking now, something about how they had seen the new Oni.

"The one who was controlling the Oni…he was the one who taught me how to fight." Syaoran's voice floated across the room.

Oh dear.

**~O~**

The night had finally wound down. After Syaoran's confession, Kurogane and Fai managed to usher out the confused hunters. I had brought Sakura up to our room, making sure she wasn't worrying _too _much about the boy across the hall.

I stopped into his room on my way back downstairs. "Syaoran?"

He was standing by the window. He turned, troubled expression clearing from his face. "Ah! Eri-san!"

I smiled slightly, "Try to get some sleep. I know you'll probably stay up all night worrying, but so will the Princess if you don't rest up."

He nodded, his face lifting up in a smile at the mention of her. "Thank you Eri-san. I'll try."

I nodded my head, "And Syaoran?" He hummed slightly in response. "Just Eri." I closed the door, resting against the wall beside it. The burning sensation was encompassing my body now, making it hard to function.

I made my way downstairs stiffly, my legs feeling as if they would give out any moment. Kurogane and Fai were lounging against the counter.

"It seems like that guy shook the kid up pretty bad." Kurogane was saying, throwing back a glass of what I could only guess was alcohol.

I slid into the chair next to him as Fai replied, "Yes, well, if someone you knew from your past showed up and they maybe had something you needed how would you react?"

Kurogane grunted, "I would take it from them."

I sighed, "Kurogane, this man taught Syaoran how to fight. They obviously spent a lot of time together when he was being trained. Syaoran obviously looked up to him. Imagine how conflicted he must feel!"

The ninja shrugged, "He'll have to get strong enough to deal with it then. He already knows that he's going to have to fight the guy, might as well man up and get it over with."

I dropped my head to the counter, "You're impossible," I muttered, reveling in the feeling of the cold surface on my cheek. The burning was choking; smothering me.

Fai's response was garbled. I felt the body next to me get up and walk away, presumably to go to sleep. Then I was snapped back into reality. Fai was shaking me.

"Ri-Ri?" I opened my eyes to his distant smile. "You were falling asleep, weren't you?"

I shook my head, sitting up. "No, I've just been feeling a bit sick."

"_So what? You're sick! No one cares! You people are a menace to society!"_

A cool hand to my forehead. He quickly retracted it and I stared up, confused. He almost looked like he was checking himself. _Why? _

"You better get some sleep then!" He said cheerily, walking around the counter, cane in hand. I glared at the thing. "Uh-Uh!' He tutted, "The cane hasn't done anything to you!" He brought it up to eye-level, shifting his weight. I cocked my head to the side. "Cane-san! Tell the pretty girl that you've done nothing wrong and she shouldn't wear that expression!"

I shook my head, smiling slightly.

He changed his voice slightly, "Pretty Girl! You shouldn't glare! You should smile instead!"

I laughed, "Has anyone ever told you that you have this tendency to act like a five-year-old?"

He smiled, cocking his head to the side, and said something about how pretty girls like myself are so mean.

"_Not only are you a good warrior, but you're good looking enough that I can sell you off somewhere if you misbehave. Don't you ever forget that you are a Termin and are below me."_

The burning sensation was back, and my body was moving on its own. I stood up.

I pulled a tight-lipped smile, "Flirting doesn't suit you. Stop it."

He cocked his head to the side, "Why's that?" His expression told me he was checking himself again. _Stop it. _

"Because you're not genuine at all," I threw him a sour look, "If you ever want people to take you seriously, which I doubt you do, you have to show them how you really feel." Suddenly I was angry. Very angry. Cue the explosion. I couldn't stop. I was watching myself say these things. "I'm done with your little fake smiles and assuring everyone you're alright. I am sick of it, telling us to be more careful, but not caring one bit if you get hurt. Not unless it could kill you." I was glaring openly at him now.

"What gives you the right to tell others to be happy, but not let yourself be? So you're running from someone, who cares? You have to be happy again at some point! Every single person here is hurting, we are all in so much pain, but you don't see us passing fake smiles and pretending it's all right! When we're down, when we're angry, we let it out! Stop bottling everything up! Stop thinking you can throw your life away!" I finished, breathing heavily. I had absolutely no idea where that came from, but it felt so good to get out. The burning was shifting through my body, just under my skin.

Fai was watching me with a blank expression, which turned into a cold smile, "One shouldn't pass judgments on others if they are doing the same thing, Eri."

I stepped back, affronted. How _dare_ he say that. "What exactly do you mean, Fai?" Sarcasm cutting into my words.

The cold smile was still there, making his good looks turn slightly frighteningly regal, "You hide your emotions behind a smile, you constantly lie to us about your true feelings, and you always put others wellbeing before your own, in your own way." His smile, still there. To anyone else it would look like his normal smile. But it was so very different.

I shook my head. I knew I was being slightly self-righteous, but right then, I did not care one bit. I couldn't care. I wasn't saying these things. Not me. _Stop it. _"Everyone smiles when they're sad, Fai. It's our way of trying to feel better, or not let our issues affect others."

"That's exactly why everything you have just said is so hypocritical." The words cut through me. _Stop it. _

I shook my head, in denial and anger, "You just don't get it, do you?" I brushed past him, "I hurt, you hurt, everyone hurts! Nevertheless, the point is that we can genuinely smile sometimes. You never do." The feeling broke, and I gasped as it rushed out of me. I didn't pay attention to his expression. I needed to get out of this room _now. _I shook my head one last time, jogging quickly up the stairs and into Sakura's and my shared room.

I shut the door, roughly, catching it at the last second, seeing Sakura's sleeping form. I can't win with him. I didn't have any idea where that outburst came from. I was worried about Fai, yes, but never to the point of anger. Never to the point of having it out with him. I sighed, sliding down the door, bringing my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I just can't control myself around him, emotionally or otherwise. He's a problem. Or maybe the problem was me. I was always toxic. I was fooling myself into believing I wouldn't hurt these people eventually, emotionally or otherwise.

Sakura rustled in her bed, and I gave a small smile. This girl, so young and innocent. I stood up, walking over to the bed. She was breathing lightly, her short auburn hair spread out over the pillow.

Right. I would focus on helping Sakura. Not on Fai. Focusing on her was...safer. Less of a risk to my emotions. Moreover, she deserved every bit of help she could get. She didn't deserve my half-hearted help that I had been giving her lately. I brushed her hair away from her face lightly.

No more fooling around with the magician. Focus on the mission. Plus, I didn't deserve to have someone care for me.

I deserved to be utterly alone.

**~O~**

_I was sitting in the shrine. They had just told me that Sachieru was diagnosed. He had never left the compound, he had been training elsewhere. He was going to die. He was like me now. Stuck. We were stuck like this, and there was nothing we could do besides kill ourselves. At that though, I looked out the open window to the ravine below. It would be so very easy…just place my foot on the ledge and push. Then this endless torture would end._

_I let out a frustrated scream. It wasn't fair! It wasn't supposed to be like this! Sachieru was supposed to leave! He was supposed to leave and have a life! Get married and have little children in Nana's old house!_

_I started pacing around the shrine. My life had been forfeit for sixteen years, yet here I was. Every day I came here praying to be cured, to be released from this life. I didn't even have the courage to take my own life, let alone put on a brave face for my siblings. And Sachieru had paid for it. My toxic attitude did this to him, I was sure of it. I wasn't sure how, maybe karma, but it did._

"_Would you like to be free of your illness?" A deep voice reverberated from the well. I gasped, my hand going to my heart. My body charged with the magic that was killing me. _

"_Are you afraid child?"_

_I choked, what was it that Master Henrike said? Never admit, never show, and never feel your weakness. _

"_I think you are. Tell me, what would you give to be free of your illness? To change your fate?"_

Anything, _I thought. To not have my death hanging over my head…_

"_Very well." _

Wait, what? _"Wait! What do you mean?" I croaked._

"_You will be free of you illness. Your price is the blood of your kinsmen."_

_Sachieru. Kalin. Screams tore through the compound. I spared one last look of horror at the well before sprinting through the courtyard. The residential building. Smoke. The tangy taste of blood in the air. Screams. _

_I threw open our door. They were both there, standing wide-eyed. Sachieru pale and thin, Kalin with tears streaming down her face._

"_The wards came down…" Sachieru said in awe, "Strange warriors with odd symbols on their chests…they invaded the compound."_

_Did I take down the wards? Did I?_

"_They're going to kill us all!" Kalin moaned into her hands._

_I shook my head, "No, no we can get out of here! We have to run!"_

_The door burst open, and Kalin screamed. I turned to Sachieru; he roughly shoved me into a chalked circle. A transport circle. I pushed against him. _

"_No! Don't!"_

_"You have to make it to the witch; someone has to survive to bring revenge to our family." He brought his hands together, a mark on his forehead glowing, "At least this way, your illness will be cured."_

_I couldn't breathe with the magic surrounding me, choking me. My already weak body was failing as it pressed against me. I watched as the men burst in the room, Kalin's body lying motionless behind them. Sachieru threw himself at them, blocking me from their attacks. The magic pressed up against me again, and then I wasn't there anymore. _

_It was raining._

* * *

**Sorry for such a late update! Things have been a bit crazy and real life has been kicking my ass! Thanks so much for all the favorites/follows/reviews! More soon!**_  
_

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	6. Episode 5: The Keeper of Secrets

Sorry this took so long! Let me know what you think!

* * *

_Episode Five: The Keeper of Secrets_

"**Secrets have a cost. They are not free. Not now, not ever."**

**~O~**

During my time at Shinran we were taught that we were going to die, whether in battle or because our illness finally overcame us. We were told we should think of what we wanted to picture in our last moments.

The people at Shinran were almost unintentionally cruel in a way, while still being in such a state of mind intentionally. I understood that this was something they thought would help us accept our fate, but in all reality it made it that much harder to swallow. As if they were blissfully ignorant that every time they tried to help us it made it that much worse. Our tormentors were trying to help us. The sick irony of it put me on edge constantly.

But once it came down to it, the only thing I could think of was a story my mother once told me about a demon, a girl, and pure human kindness.

And that was all I could think of at this point in my story. The part that you are about to read.

This is the part where I die.

**~O~**

"Sorry I'm late!"

"That's alright! The pancakes are just about done." Fai's voice was floating through the window I was leaning against drowsily.

"Kurogane ate all them by himself!" Mokona sang cheerily.

The ninja man grumbled in response as I dropped my head against the wall, blood spilling into my eyes. I blinked hard, trying to clear my now red-tinted vision. Said ninja had hauled me out of a pool of the stuff this morning, silently tossing a towel at me and walking away.

"We'll go to the city hall." Syaoran was saying firmly.

_Whoops. _Time to move. I tried to crawl away, but only succeeded in falling on my face, hissing slightly as an open gash rubbed against the dirt.

The door opened, and I could hear them exchanging goodbyes.

"Syaoran?" Sakura called out as they were leaving, "While you're in town, could you possibly…look for Eri-san? She wasn't in our room this morning and…" She trailed off, worry seeping through her voice.

Ah. I hadn't exactly meant to worry her. Much.

"She's fine. You don't need to worry about her. She'll be home soon, I asked her to get something for us." Kurogane answered.

"Oh." Came her quiet reply.

"And what would that be, Kuro-puu?" Fai asked airily, "You aren't foisting your flour duties on her, are you?"

"Shut up! And no, I sent her to the weapon's shop. If she's going to put herself in danger anyways, she might as well be armed."

I sighed. He wanted me to go there, and that required movement. Movement I wasn't sure I was capable of at the moment. I was just wishing on my lucky stars that the bushes hid me from view.

Maybe I should recap what happened last night? Yeah, I guess I should.

You see, after mine and Fai's little fight I spent half the night pacing around the room, quietly steaming. Eventually, I thought it would be a good idea to take out some of my aggression on the Oni prowling the town. Unarmed. Alone.

Stupidity was just rampant last night.

So I launched myself out the window, and I should have realized that Kurogane or Fai would have seen me. But I didn't much care about anything last night.

I had continued to run through the town letting trouble find me as it deemed necessary. The amount of hits I took was ridiculous, but it was somehow cathartic. As if every cut, punch, stab, and tear released the anger and downright depravity I was feeling. I felt if every injury, every burst of pain was paying for something, for someone.

_Laceration to shoulder. _

Kalin. _"Why did you get to live?"_

_Cracked rib. _

Sachieru. _"I died for you."_

_Stab wound to upper thigh. _

Kurogane. _"Why do I need to keep looking out for you?"_

_Severe concussion. _

Syaoran. _"Why are you falling apart on us?"_

_Bruised sternum. _

Sakura. _"Why don't you care about me?"_

_Ripped scar tissue._

Fai. _"Why do we do this to each other?"_

_Loss of breath. _

Why can't I stop hurting them? Why can't I stop hurting myself?

_Moderate to severe blood loss. _

Why did I take that deal?

_Loss of consciousness._

Why do I keep destroying things?

**~O~**

_It was raining. Voices. Agitated. Calm. Desperate. Wise and infinitely sad. Something taken. "Your price is your good health."_

_Such a tease._

_A price. A price to pay to see another day. Hysterical giggles spilling from my mouth. _

_Long, cold fingers gripping my chin. Crimson eyes. Calculating, pitying, and plotting. A feeling, warmth seeping from my skin. Warmth that had just rejoined my frozen over body. Frozen heart. Now bloody wounds, lacerated edges were open for the world to see, gaping open and unable to be closed. The cold made sure of that while making sure that no one could ever get close enough to fix it. Somehow, the cold was better. It held the wounds in place so they couldn't get larger. _

"_You will travel with them. To find the answers you seek. To find what you need to do."_

_More voices. Yelling. Tears. Sadness. This was…normal. I had been surrounded by this my whole life. As horridly cliché and angsty as it sounded, happiness and security would terrify me. I wouldn't know what to do with it. That kind of life wasn't made for someone like me. A murderer. A puppet. As long as I had a goal, someone pulling the strings, and a target—I would be fine. Anything else was unacceptable. _

_A gust of wind. The tingle of magic across my skin. The rain was gone._

**~O~**

The process of waking up is a slow one, even difficult most of the time. Sleep is essential to the body and the body is not full of want to exit its relaxed state. And neither is the sleeper mentally. Sleep is where one dreams—and dreams are your subconscious coming to the forefront of your mind, telling you the things you wouldn't or could only dare to think, to believe. So it makes complete sense that one would not want to leave this sleeping paradise.

Personally, I hated sleep. That was when the nightmares that left me in a cold sweat and screaming till I was hoarse happened. I didn't have nightmares all of the time; I was lucky enough for that. The one pleasant dream that I had was with my brother. We were near the stream in our village and he was talking to me. I can't actually remember what we were saying, but I do know that it was the only time I felt at peace. But then some nights the happy thoughts and brightness of the dream would vanish and it would be raining. I would be alone. Sachieru would be gone and all I would hear was Kalin's light laugh on the wind, turned sinister. That was generally when the screaming started, and when I woke up.

This was the only dream I was having these days.

This was the dream I woke up from in a crouched position outside the window of the café, blood dried and caked onto my skin along with dirt. I woke to light voices, tense underneath a polite façade. That was what put me on edge more than anything. Because that voice was Fai's and I could hear Mokona whimpering from inside.

I put the burning sensation, my complete rage towards him, and the crippling pain to the back of my mind. Someone was there, someone not wanted.

I grabbed hold of the window, shakily pulling myself up, completing the slow process by swinging my leg over the sill and sliding in clumsily.

There was a man. Glasses. Dark hair. Tall. I instantly knew seven ways to kill him. This was what I was trained for.

Fai was standing in front of him, stature tense. I must have made some noise in my entering, as his eyes flicked towards me, flicking away before the man could notice. He was hiding his face behind his unruly blonde locks, not giving anything away. Smile still beaming out from under his bangs. _Typical_.

I hobbled forward, Mokona catching sight of me, distressed noises flying out of the creature's mouth. As I stood next to Fai, it seems he caught sight of me, _really _saw me out of the corner of his eyes, his face tightening even more as blood drained out of his face. I imagine I was quite the sight.

As I looked forward, it clicked. This was the man. The one Syaoran saw. Seishirou.

"I take it you must be Seishirou-san? The one Syaoran told us about?" My voice came out gravelly and hoarse, my vocal cords tight and strained.

The man smiled and nodded, "Yes, we," He inclined his head towards Fai, "were just speaking of our ability to travel dimensions."

"Ah." I nodded, "That would make sense. I thought it was a bit strange, someone suddenly appearing with the ability to control the Oni? The feather explains the ability, but not the motivation. The people in this world are scared stiff of the Oni, even those who hunt them. But they held true to the belief that the Oni would never directly attack them. No one in this world would have reasons for taking control of them."

His smile was politely detached, reminding me horridly of the blonde next to me. "Yes, to meet those two."

I was torn from my ability to ask who the two were as one of the Oni who had been standing in the room menacingly struck at us. I tripped backwards as the tiles shattered into the air, a fragment nearly missing my eye. I glanced at Fai as he pulled me over and away from another attack, shouting at Mokona to stay by Sakura's side. _Sakura. _I hadn't noticed her; I glanced her way and felt my worry rise to a sickening level.

I noticed Fai wince out of the corner of my eye as he landed heavily on his injured ankle.

"Your ankle hurts, doesn't it?" Seishirou asked politely over the din of the Oni's attacks. "You know if you use your magic you could escape!"

"Ah, but I've decided not to use my magic!" Fai sang back. The idiot. My own magic was already rising to my skin.

"Goodbye."

I gasped as they lunged at us, lunged at _Fai_. He was pushing me back.

No.

No.

I would not let this happen. The cycle would not repeat. No one would die for me, not again. I lunged forward, knocking the blonde off balance and out of harm's way.

_Pain._

_Voices._

_Yelling._

_Darkness._

_Cold._

_Blessedly cold._

The silence rang. A soul had left the world of Oto, never to return. A ragged, twisted soul. A soul that had gone mad with grief and pain. The soul of Eri Tsukunori vanished, nowhere to be found by a wide-eyed blonde who grasped desperately at the black smoke lifting the shreds of the girl's humanity away.

That was the day that I died.

**~O~**

My mother told me this story in a time where I was perfectly healthy and our household wasn't splintered by sadness and repulsion. A time where she would come in a brush my hair out and tell stories to me in a low, thrilling voice that made me more awake than tired.

There was a demon that walked the world, an eternal wanderer. This demon had seen many battles, taking part in many battles against humanity. This demon had killed many humans without remorse, but was cursed to roam the world of his enemies for all of eternity. Thus was the curse of the last human he ever killed. If he ever tried to kill himself or have himself killed, he would simply come back into life and the one who had attempted the murder would suffer a fate far worse.

So he wandered. He walked the world many times and saw the wonderful things that the human world had to offer. He saw monuments and architectural wonders. Things that his culture was not capable of. Not even capable of wanting. Though the one thing that mystified him the most, the one thing he could not understand in human culture was the emotion that many humans showed. Caring. Compassion. Love.

These emotions, these thoughts could not make sense to him. He, who was a creature of rage and bloodshed. So he searched the world for an answer to his question. He perused cities and villages, plains and deserts, and the seas and the land. Everywhere he looked, every text he read could not bestow the secret of humanity's supposed strongest weapon.

Nothing could help him, until he met a young girl. This girl was at her family grave, shedding tears over the loss of her loved ones. The demon observed the girl, trying to decipher what made the girl weep. He pondered this until the young girl took notice of him. She did not start, did not scream, just stared at him as he stared at her. Pondering. Thinking. Not understanding.

The girl stood like that for a long time, and the demon, which had grown complacent in the centuries that he had walked the world, remained still.

Then the girl spoke, "What is it which you have lost?"

The demon thought. What had he lost? A culture that seemed pathetic in comparison to this human's. A life that amounted to violence and death. Kinsmen who were as likely to kill him as save him. "Nothing," He answered, "I have lost nothing, but have gained nothing in return." He thought for a moment, "What is it which _you _have lost?"

The girl closed her eyes, "Those who I have loved. They have left the world before I have, leaving me alone here."

"What is love?" The demon asked, suddenly. This startled the girl. This question is what made her start suddenly. This was a girl who had been surrounded with love her entire life, and was now lost without it.

She looked at the pitiful creature before her and answered, "Love is what keeps people alive."

The demon still did not understand, "So love is your heart? I have killed many humans; I have never found love lying in their hearts. Tissue and blood, yes, but never love."

The girl hugged herself against the demon's chilling words, "Love is not something which you can see. It can only be felt. It can be given and it can be received. It is something exchanged between people, or one may feel love for their occupation. Love can be felt or given in many forms. But I cannot tell you how it feels; you must experience it for yourself."

The demon considered this, "But how can I experience this feeling? There is no way for me."

The girl did not offer to love him, no. She did bestow upon him wisdom of years beyond her. She was a young girl who had lost her family; she was not capable of this. She told him one thing, "You must make yourself worthy of love. You have killed, you have murdered innocents. You are not worthy of love as you are."

And she left.

The demon stayed there for a long time, soaking in the idea. He was imperfect the way he was. He needed to change to be worthy of humanity's greatest weapon. Maybe once he gained it, he could use it to return to whence he came. A desolate, cultureless place it may be. Yes, a cold, bloody place; but it was his home.

Many years later another war between humanity and demons started. The demon saw this as his opportunity to return to his home, so he rejoined his brothers on the battlefield, essentially reverting back to his old self.

He met a warrior on the battlefield who fought with ragged grace. A person who was prepared for death—seeking it. He sought this warrior out; he had been told of this warrior's fighting prowess. He would be respected and hailed as a great warrior. This would surely bring him back to his home world.

He engaged the warrior in battle. This battle was long, neither giving quarter, when the demon saw something out of the edge of his eyes. Long hair that had surrounded a girl at a grave, tucked under the warrior's helmet.

The warrior took their chance and scored a fatal blow on the demon. The demon in his shock forgot the consequences of his subsequent death. The first thing he saw as he entered his next rotation of life was a young girl who had grown into a woman falling to ashes at his feet.

He left the wretched battlefield and resumed his wandering.

Because he was not worthy of such a human concept of love, and he was no longer worthy of being called a demon.

And so he wandered.

This story would never happen, in reality. No girl would stand and speak calmly with a demon and not bestow words of wisdom that really were words of wisdom. This was a fairy tale of sorts. The moral? I was to never take the love my family gave me for granted.

The reason I would think of this story was that it was my mother who told me this story. My mother was the one who cast me out of her house, lips curled.

Yes, horribly bitter. But there was another reason. I had become the demon. I was not the pitiful girl. No, I was the demon who could not understand love or stand the bloodshed he was destined to wreak. Pathetic and doomed to wander.

This story was not one of epic battles and sunset endings. No this story will not end where everyone I could bring myself to care about will be happy. Tears, blood, love, and hatred. These things interlace in our lives. We cannot escape them. No, not a sunset, but the dark covering of night. Night would cover us in darkness and we would fight for a way out, gasping.

This was our story.

This was my ending.

This was also my rebirth.

So I could return to wander once again.

* * *

Sooo. Hi. Sorry this took forever, school started and I got slammed, I'll try to update sooner! Let me know what you think, especially about the bit in the end!

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	7. Episode 6: The Birth of Entropy

_**Episode Six: The Birth of Entropy**_

"The marks humans leave are too often scars."  
― John Green, _The Fault in Our Stars_

**~O~**

There seems to be a running gag that the world, wait, no, that isn't technically correct anymore, the _universe _seems to run. It's one where Miss or Mister Universe likes to inflict as much mental and emotional anguish as possible on people who already have too much shit on their plate and already rock themselves to sleep grasping at the last strings of sanity and mental soundness that are left to them. Just to give them a challenge. Something to work towards, because supposedly someday there's going to be some magnificent payoff that makes all of our troubles and grief worth it. Bullshit. I call utter and complete bullshit. Because not only is that completely wrong and never going to happen, no payoff could ever amount to the pain that these souls go through. I don't care if they end up blissfully happy with a family and a dog, that doesn't equate to seeing those who you care about in the _now _fall around you. Maybe that's just me. Probably.

**~O~**

_At the time that I left the compound after Sakura when no one was watching, I hadn't considered the fact that my wounds were still not even close to being healed enough for me to do things like say…walking? Satsuki had done her best, but from what I overheard I was run through with a blade more than a few times. They still wouldn't say that _he _had done it. His name slipped off their tongues like a sour poison. _

Syaoran.

_The reason Sakura left on this godforsaken journey to help the residents of the tower, the reason that in my brief moments of consciousness I caught Kurogane shooting cursory glances that landed too often on the two still forms in the room, including mine. The reason that every time I slipped out of consciousness, all I could see was a barren Sanctuary with a young boy with too innocent of eyes covered in the blood of his friends. My nightmares had finally gone, only to be replaced with something much worse. Reality. _

_ I hissed as I stretched my stitches, blood slowly sleeping through my clothing. The next few steps had me stumbling into the acid eroded remains around me, the stench of the afternoon rain still pungent in the air. I kept trudging, motivated by the thought that little, _sweet, _Sakura was out there. Fighting. Maybe dying. I picked up my pace, keeping my hand pressed tightly against my abdomen. _

_ Another reason I couldn't sit and wait in that damned tower was what I had witnessed before she had left. That bumbling idiot telling us not to save him; to let him fade away and not do anything about it. That was the point that I had woken up enough to form intelligible sentences. _

_ "How about you stop trying to take the easy way out for once, thinking that it'll be better for everyone in the long run? Because honestly, everything you think will benefit us by you sacrificing something is usually completely wrong and stupid. So just…stop…talk…-ing…" Was all I was able to hiss at him before I started convulsing and the other "_Syaoran" _ had to help Satsuki hold me down to avoid opening my shoddy stitches. Which was probably detrimental to my point. Anything I said nowadays Fai twisted so he could avoid my point. I just hope for once that he understood why I could never let him die. _

**~O~**

Reality is a funny thing, it really is. When you think you understand the laws of nature, it turns around and laughs in your face because _no, _you didn't just die like you thought you would. You were just in a freaking role playing game that was so realistic that you remember the pain of dying perfectly.

My life. Just. Stop. Now. Please.

The worst part is when you wake up, you then find out that someone is manipulating the game and that all of your friends may die. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that said manipulator is the one that ended my short, sweet, virtual life? No? I must have forgotten right about the point that I watched Fai get munched up by Oni right after I vanished.

The woman who let me out of the sleeper pod we were housed in while our minds were in the game, Chitose, guided me back to the platform where our group's pods were housed. This place was…strange, for lack of a better word. It was a world so much more advanced than mine, and I was honestly having issues keeping up with everything Chitose was telling me.

But mostly I was blocking out what she was telling me. Not trying to be intentionally rude, but my mind was flying all over the place. I had _died. _I felt the Oni's claws rip through me. I felt my heart slow to a stop. Then to wake up and to be told that the time I spent in Oto was basically a lie? I was having a tough time adjusting. Especially because of the circumstances of my death. So I stepped in front of a lethal attack to save Fai's life. Okay. I could tick that off to guilt and selfish need. I didn't want him to die for me, so I stepped in front. That was it. Completely.

Another thing was the burning sensation that made me snap. The one that made me completely irrational and do stupid things. I still felt it. I had thought that it only showed up when I was angry or upset, but apparently I just hadn't noticed it settling into the back of my mind, nudging me. _Go ahead. Scream at them. Say horrible things you know will hurt them. Get away from these people. Betray them. _

It was absolutely terrifying. It seemed Oto had placed a fog over my mind, allowing me to fall under this…thing's influence unknowingly. The worst part was that I found myself agreeing.

I pondered this while standing in front of the pods, my eyes flicking to each member of our party. Becoming attached wasn't a good idea; even with my brother and sister living with me in Shinran I could barely hold a conversation. Maybe because I was a trained mass murderer and my kill count for the day wasn't really something you talked about at dinner time. Apparently. Whenever they tried to relate or sympathize, all I wanted to do was backhand them for even thinking they could _try_, let alone actually understand.

Yet they still died to get me out safely.

I could feel Sakura and Syaoran starting to do the same, and I couldn't bear the possibility of coming to resent them for being kind. That was their nature. Yes, they were both hurting, but at their core they were the most genuine people who probably have and ever will exist. Because that's the way it works. The good people in the world get the shit dealing.

While I was lost in my thoughts, the intercom buzzed a smooth voice floating through the facility.

_Customer ID Number 43570 is now dead. Commence Emergency exit from Oto Country. _

I looked up to see wide blue eyes boring into mine through the pod. The latch gave way with a hiss and Fai stumbled out. He watched me for a moment, shock frozen on his face, before adjusting slightly. His face slid back into his customary smile and I sighed in disappointment. There goes any hope for him actually telling me that he, oh I don't know, at least appreciated what I did.

In fact, I would tell him.

"Thanks so much Eri, for getting mauled by a gang of Oni to protect me! Of course only to get killed myself a couple minutes later." I drawled out, eyebrows arched.

His expression darkened, "If you think I'm going to thank you for dying for me, you are severely mistaken."

I shook my head, "No, not thank me. Actually, I was going to yell at you for attempting to take the blow." I turned away from him, facing the large expanse of the room.

"So why would you think I would appreciate you-" He stopped short, and I could feel him standing behind me. His body heat radiated towards me, sending shivers through my body.

"I knew you wouldn't," I murmured, attempting to quash the urge to reach out to him, to feel him closer. "But I couldn't let you do it for me. It wasn't worth it."

"Don't say that," Was his quiet response, hand grasping mine lightly. "Never say that."

"Fai…" I trailed off before turning towards him. I was shocked by his proximity, my nose slightly brushing his chin. I shook my head to clear it of the fog gathering there, "You don't know my past and I don't know yours, so let's just agree to disagree, alright?" His eyes bored into mine, making my squirm uneasily. "Also," I added distractedly, "I won't apologize for what I said the other night. I meant most of it." I stepped back towards the railing, "And while it may have been hypocritical," I watched him slide his oh-so-predictable mask back on, "I still want you to genuinely smile." I stepped back towards him, allowing a small amount of my unhealthy affection for him seep through. Avoiding his eyes, I glanced towards the pods.

I could feel him watching me, though I didn't dare guess his expression. Operation _Don't You Dare Get Close To Him Or Be Prepared To Jump Off The Nearest Bridge _was now in effect. I smiled up at him as the intercom buzzed again: _Customer ID Number 43569 is now dead. Commence Emergency exit from Oto Country. _

"Looks like another one of us screwed up!" I chirped, watching Syaoran slowly wake, eyes sliding open.

Fai grasped at my wrist, eyes peering at me underneath his long bangs, "This isn't the end of this conversation, Eri." I felt his fingers tangle with mine again, and I felt a tightening in my chest as I remembered walking in Oto with him, arms linked together. And then the other night in the café, where all I could see was a red haze as we flung poisoned barbs at each other.

I gave him a weak grin, "No, I suppose it isn't. " _Like hell. I'm going to avoid that conversation until the day I die. _

Fai nodded and we stood in front of Syaoran's capsule, the blonde knocking on the glass. As he woke up and saw us, he flung himself against the glass, large smile on his face.

"Fai-san! Eri-san!"

We both were smiling as he stumbled out.

"Syaoran-kun!" Fai cried, smile back.

"Welcome back to the real world!" I chuckled.

He shot a relieved look at us, "I'm glad you're…" He trailed off.

"Still alive?" Fai provided.

"Technically, we're dead in Oto Country, but because I died first," I said, motioning for him to look around, "I learned a few things. This isn't Oto Country."

Syaoran gave me a look, "Eh?"

"Oto Country doesn't really exist," I tried to explain, "How should I explain it?" I muttered, "I don't know what it's like in your world, but this place is called Edonis. Where we are right now is called Fairy Park, a type of place where people come for amusement."

We arrived at the opening of the chamber, the entire park open to us, "When we arrived here, we put into a certain type of fake reality. Those capsule things are what facilitated it." Syaoran was drinking this place in, "So really, everything that happened there was an illusion, something people do for enjoyment."

"Not exactly," He murmured, "The municipality's control over the Oni, the fact that the Oni only attacked hunters,"

"Is something off?" Fai asked, as if he hadn't already pieced it together.

"Now that I think about it, when Kurogane and I went to the Dwarf Tower, there was an Oni in a room that vanished when I started a fire. It vanished, but the floor was still wet. So Oni could be killed by fire, but Oni hunters couldn't."

Fai joined him, nodding, "Yeah, I guess that is strange."

So basically, we were all idiots and should have seen it from the start.

Great.

"But what I can't figure out is why we can't remember how we got here." Syaoran was saying.

A voice spoke up, coming towards us, "It's a special feature for first time participants, so they can fully enjoy the experience. Therefore we make certain adjustments to each user's data."

I watched as Syaoran grasped his head and Fai merely closed his eyes briefly.

Fai looked up at me, smile at the ready. Of course he had already figured this out—I'm guessing the moment he woke up.

"Do you remember now?" He asked kindly, leaning over Syaoran, "In any case, that world certainly felt real."

I watched as Chitose explained more to Syaoran, and asked about Seishirou's involvement in the corruption of the game.

"The game isn't safe," Chitose was murmuring.

"What do you mean?"

If the game wasn't safe…_Oh god. Kurogane and Sakura are still in there. _

"The interferer warped the rules of the game. When you are in the game and get injured, it does not get transferred to your corporeal body. But if this continues…" She trailed off as a tremor shot through the park. "It may become a reality!" She finished with wide eyes.

Another tremor went through the complex, and I grabbed onto a rail, "So Oto is colliding with Edonis?!" I moved away as a part of the ceiling dropped nearby, "How is that possible?"

"I don't know!" She cried, "This type of technology doesn't exist in Edonis! It must be the interferer!" She shook her head, turning to us, "If this continues, not just Fairy Park, but all of Edonis will be destroyed by the Oni!"

I turned towards the wall of monitors, searching for the man responsible. A group caught my eye and I gasped, "It's them!" I pointed, "It's Yuzuhira and the others! They have Sakura with them!"

"And there's Kuro-puppy!" Fai cheered.

Then I noticed just where he was and with whom.

He was facing off with Seishirou on top of a ride. I felt my stomach tighten in worry, while I didn't doubt his abilities, this Seishirou…something was off about him.

"Let's go!" Syaoran started running out of the complex, the three of us following immediately.

We ran, dodging random Oni popping through the rift between the two worlds. I could almost cry when we finally reached Ryu-oh and Yuzuhira. I noticed Fai covering Chitose with his coat to shelter her from the falling debris of the ruined park while Ryu-oh grabbed onto Syaoran.

Sakura, I saw, was safe with Kusunagi, asleep in his arms. I nodded to myself and looked up to where Kurogane was with the rest of them. Both men were frighteningly skilled, both out for the other's life.

Out of nowhere, a spade flew through the air and right in between Kurogane and Seishirou. I turned, watching the last breath of magic leave Mokona's mouth. _Um, what just happened? _

Kurogane gave us a startled look, probably at the fact that we were alive, and turned back as Seishirou's chest began to glow. _The feather. _

"Why does Seishirou-san have…!" I watched Syaoran become even more distraught and nudged him.

"I think Kuro-rin needs some back-up!" I gave him a small smile before taking off towards the ride, finding a service ladder and jumping onto it. As Seishirou wielded the feather, the air warped around us, more debris flying past. I hissed as a moderately sized piece nicked my shoulder, blood dripping from the wound immediately. _Seriously? Can't even go an hour without being hurt. _

I watched as Syaoran made it to the top before me. I was pulling myself up as the I-1 demon began to materialize.

"Is that Oruha?" I muttered, recognizing her even from my foggy memories of the night we spent at the Clover bar.

"So everything you told us was a lie then?" Kurogane grumbled, not far from me.

"Not entirely. It wasn't really a lie; there _was _a handsome man who controlled the Oni. I just never said he was the I-1. "

She told us how she was in the game to collect data and give hunters searching for the I-1 a more challenging experience. Then she turned to Seishirou.

"So what is it Mr. Interferer wants with me?"

"So that was his plan?" I murmured. Kurogane shifted.

"Must be, once you find the I-1 you must get something."

I turned back as Syaoran was begging for the feather that Seishirou held, "That is something very important to the person most important to me!"

I watched as he drew his sword and charged the older man. "Kurogane," I pleaded, "Please tell me he'll get out of this alive."

He was silent for a moment, watching the two, and then finally spoke up, "That kid's too stubborn to die here."

I nodded, "I guess he is." I couldn't help but glance towards another member of our party, "The things you'll do for love." I hummed slightly.

The ninja shot me a look, "I think you know that better than anyone, from what the pork bun tells me."

"Don't go making assumptions that you can't back up. Besides, I don't—can't—have time for that." I gestured to Syaoran who was shouting after a vanishing Seishirou, "I have to look after him! Who knows what trouble he'll get himself into?"

Kurogane sighed, "If you say so."

I grimaced, "Don't make it sound so meaningless."

"Don't be in perpetual denial."

I glared at him as Mokona's mouth opened, and the all-too-familiar tug started, "If I didn't know any better," I muttered, "I'd say you were trying to get us together."

"Che," He scoffed, "I'm just trying to get the two of you to stop being annoying. "

I sighed, "Thanks so much Kuro-rin." Ignoring his stupid smirk on his stupid face, I smiled and waved at the others below. "Maybe we'll see each other again! We won't forget you!" I shouted down to Ryu-oh and Yuzuhira, just as Syaoran finished his goodbye to Ryu.

Another tug, more forceful this time, and we were off.

To a new world.

* * *

Hey all! Hope you're enjoying the chapters (sorry for the wait!) and thanks so much for the feedback! Keep it coming!

**Reviews Give Mokona The Power To Travel Dimensions**

**And We'd Really Like To Not Be Stranded Here**


	8. Episode 7: The Catching of Breath

_**Episode Seven: The Catching of Breath**_

_**If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance. ~Andrea Boydston**_

* * *

I stretched while yawning, feeling my bones pop as I reached out. This place was stifling. The humidity and sun was enough to drive anyone mad and Kurogane seemed to be succumbing to the urge. Or maybe it was just that he was pissed at Yuko. Ah, yes, that seemed to be his current rant.

"That damn witch interrupted my fight!"

I laughed, "I would be grateful Kurogane; it didn't seem to be going in your favor."

"Like hell! It had barely started!"

I grinned again and grasped my hands behind my back, "Well, I am glad we're not in that world anymore! I'd hate for everyone to still be injured like they were Oto! We were all rather beat up!"

I felt the air go tense around me as Kurogane slid his eyes over to me, "Or in the two of you's case, dead."

My smile caught, "And now we're not! So we might as well move on from that!"

He snorted as we kept walking and I sighed, "Anyway, let me see the thing that Yuko sent through!" It was a spade with a note attached. I held back a snicker. A spade had stopped Kurogane's supposed valiant fight. The idea was more than comical.

_White Day is for giving back. You'll be in trouble if you're late! –Yuko_

I laughed full out, "I have to say, I enjoy her sense of humor!"

"What does that even mean?!"

"I can't even read it!" Fai piped up.

I stopped short as I saw something hanging from a tree...it looked like…

"_Sakura!"_

_ "Princess?!"_

We ran towards the young girl who was tangled up in a trap.

"What happened!" I asked, searching for something sharp to get her out.

"Syaoran has been kidnapped!"

"Huh?!"

**~O~**

After Kurogane and I managed to untangle her, she took off running, us with her.

"Syaoran-kun was taken by little people with tails and ears?" Fai questioned from my side.

"He was taken this way!" She shouted, not halting.

"So, how do you feel Kuro-tan? Your star pupil taken out by a falling nut and kidnapped?" I quipped lightly around my semi-harsh breathing.

"His training in Oto only covered some situations, but he's still not ready to wield a sword." He grumbled in response.

"What a strict teacher!" Fai cheered.

"What about him drawing his sword against Seishirou?" I muttered under my breath, "He seemed to do okay with that,"

"He died." Kurogane deadpanned.

Cringing and laughing simultaneously, I ran, pushing through the heat till we came up on a…village? I wasn't sure if counted as such it was so small. And there were furry little…things that the young boy in question was eating with. Not being forcibly held in any noticeable way.

"Syaoran-kun!" Sakura ran towards him, fussing over him.

"I'm fine!" He smiled at us, "Besides, we've got quite the situation here."

"Situation?" Fai and I questioned.

"What the hell are you?" Kurogane ignored us, staring at the furry things that squealed in response and hid behind Syaoran.

"Heh, this guy may look scary but he doesn't bite. For now." Fai waved at the little creatures.

"What do you mean for now?" The man in mention grumbled.

"That it's okay to look scary!" He responded brightly.

"Ah! Fai and Kurogane are close!" Mokona cried from Sakura's shoulder.

I giggled as the ninja turned to me with a glare. Syaoran gestured quickly to the fire which looked like the main gathering area, "I want you guys to hear their story!"

We settled around the fire as Syaoran began his story, Fai leaning forward in interest.

"They told me there are demons, they come out of the forest, but mainly reside within." He started as the bunny-eared creatures gave us some sort of food. "They appeared suddenly and destroyed people's homes."  
"We tried to fight them," One of the bunny creatures whimpered, "But it was no use."

"They told us to give them sacrifices, and if we did they would stop rampaging." Another one lamented.

"So you were going to sacrifice tasty Syaoran-kun!" Fai smiled.

"Mokona would taste better!" The small pork-bun cried out.

"So if you were cooked," Kurogane stated, "something would come and eat you?"

"These demons appeared suddenly and I've seen the damage." Syaoran commented solemnly.

"That seems to be the story everywhere we find Sakura-chan's feathers." Fai said absently.

"He said the thing might be invisible, so we showed it to him!" One rabbit creature popped up next to Syaoran. Just for the record, the amount of these things was kind of freaking me out. I had images of being drowned in a sea of fur and bunny ears and I shivered. Damn me and my overactive imagination.

The bunny things were now hugging and climbing all over Syaoran. Typical. He and Sakura were akin to fairytale princesses with their affinity with animals.

"Mokona," Syaoran interrupted my thoughts, "is there any sign of a feather?"

"Yes, it's close,"

Kurogane chuckled, "So it's demon hunting, huh?"

"Kuro-sama looks happy!" Fai waved.

The ninja 'hmph'-ed and turned away from us.

Sakura stood up, catching our attention, "I'm going too!" She announced determinedly.

I sighed as Syaoran looked increasingly more worried.

"I don't want to become a burden, so I'll do my best. But please take me with you!" She continued on.

Syaoran smiled gently, "Princess…"  
I watched them stare at each other, a tender feeling coming over me as well. Those two were one in a million.

Then my worst nightmare: the bunny things swarmed. I tensed as they crowded around me shouting at once.

"Not everyone can go!"

"We need someone to stay as a sacrifice!"

Oh no. They were going to drown me in their fur and bunny ears. Years of being trained as an assassin that could get out of difficult situations and I was going to die gasping for air in a fur apocalypse. Dear god, someone help me.

Fai gripped me around my shoulders, "They've really got a tight grip on things…" He's one to talk—I could feel his fingers digging into my shoulders. I was going to have a bruise in the morning. Another one. So much for young maidens having flawless skin. Wait, since when was I a maiden? Oh yeah, when Fai started to make me feel like a school girl.

Fai continued on thoughtfully, "Leaving Mokona would be a problem, and Kuro-rii looks like he's all ready to go…" He glanced down at me. Dear god, don't leave me here with these things…I couldn't take that. "Looks like Ri-Ri and I are staying behind!"

Wait—what? No! "Couldn't you just stay behind without me?"

"That would be boring!" Fai grinned, "Plus," He mumbled quietly, "We still need to have that talk." Okay, now I really need to go with the others. The day we have 'the _talk_' is the day I throw myself into the sea of bunny creatures.

"Ehehehe…right." I scooted out from under his arm.

Sakura was looking at us worried, and I instantly melted, "Go ahead! We'll be fine." I smiled down at her.

"It might be dangerous, but you still want to go, right?" Fai was smiling gently.

She nodded, back to being serious.

Fai grabbed me again, "We'll be cheering you on from here!" He cheered as the group started walking away.

I begged for someone besides the bubbly blonde besides me to save me. I didn't think I could take this. I'd have a mental breakdown. I'd crack, I'd actually go insane.

Waaaaah.

**~O~**

We ended up in a sort of fenced living area where there was some wondrous breeze blowing through. Fai had long since abandoned his jacket and laid it on the ground for us to sit on. With some offhand comment about chivalry I had reluctantly joined him in sitting down.

Painfully awkward silences were never my forte, even though my life seemed to be dogged by them.

"So this demon thing." I ventured, "It shows up randomly, knocks down some houses, and demands a sacrifice."

Fai turned towards me, probably wondering where I was going with this.

I continued, "Who would want a sacrifice in the form of a swarm of bunny creatures? Every demon I've ever met wouldn't waste its time with something like this."

"Ri-Ri is so perceptive," The blonde grinned down at me.

I glared up at him, "Don't patronize me." I may have pouted a little, just a little.

"Aw! How cute!" He poked at my cheeks ignoring my very loud, annoyed cries. He ended up grabbing onto me, squeezing me tightly. "Ri-Ri is so adorable!"

"I'm not! So let me go!"

"No can do! We still have to have our talk!"

I froze, dread pouring over me. Not a talk about our situation. I'd die. From embarrassment and the actual thought of it.

"U-uh no we don't!" I squealed, trying to pry his arms off me. Why, no how, was he so strong. It felt like being held by a bear.

His voice was in my ear, breath wafting past making me tense up even more. _Help! A very attractive magician whom I am very affectionate towards has taken me hostage. _Now that just sounds like unjust complaining. I could hear Kalin complaining in my head about me throwing away golden opportunities. She always thought finding "prospects" would make everything better. She had her fair share of suitors if I remember correctly, and always encouraged me to do the same. _Like hell_—I usually cringed and walked away when she went on like that.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand.

"Let's talk about Oto," He whispered.

"Let's not!" I gave a tense laugh, "You know let's just say I did a favor for a friend and let it go!" I finally escaped and fell back onto my hands. "You know I liked you better when you were avoiding me and talking about feelings and emotions and things like that…" I mumbled, trying to get my bearings.

Then I saw that expression that had showed up so much in our time in Oto: he was checking himself again. I sighed, I may not have gotten what I wanted, but at least he would probably stop the onslaught.

"That doesn't excuse what you did."

I groaned, "Please just let it go!"

I saw the bunny creatures coming our way and I jumped up, "We have company!" I cried. I had never been so happy to see things that terrified me before. I'll never take bunnies for granted again.

Fai put his smile back on in true mask like fashion. They surrounded us and I suppressed a shudder, _remember, be thankful. _

"I wonder what they're doing right now…" Fai trailed off.

"It's very strong!"

"You can't get close!"

"A strength you can't approach."

When they started to all speak at once was when the image of the fur sea came back.

"What do you feel from it?" Fai lowered his voice.

"That is…no. Nothing."

I sighed. "How did you know that the demon wanted you to give it a sacrifice?"

They all looked at each other. "Well…" One of them piped up.

"It didn't exactly tell us…" Another said.

"Wait, what?" I looked down at them, I swear if they were about to tell me what I thought they were…

"We just thought that it might want a sacrifice!" They all answered together.

I dropped my head to my hands, "So you are holding us here because you _think _that the demon wants sacrifices? It never actually told you that? And you don't even…" I gave a small cry, "So I shouldn't have to be here?" To think how many years of my life this little hostage situation shaved off of my life with the amount of anxiety I just went through.

I opened my mouth to accuse Fai of needlessly torturing me when my head went fuzzy, the burning coming back full force.

And there went my consciousness.

**~O~**

_A terrifying roaring noise echoed through the air, and then the ground around me was cracking and lifting. I grabbed onto the nearest outcropping, what used to be a balcony in an apartment complex. Gunshots rang out, another deafening screech and all was still. I was so far off. I should have known that they had given her some form of transportation. _

_ I slid down the incline, trying to avoid the large fault line running through my path. As I made my way down, the rocks slipped once more, sending me falling down to the dirt. I landed with a thump on my back, letting out breathy coughs and doing my best to ignore the increased flow a warmth through my shirt. I let my eyes stray towards the direction of another rockslide. I saw a slim figure plummet down the face of a cliff. _Sakura. _She finally caught grip, but not before her ankle went clean through a stray pipe. I tried to move towards her, but my whole body was going numb, fossilizing me so to speak. She pulled her leg away, the pipe still firmly through her ankle. Then she climbed, her skin tearing against the rock._

_ "Idiot." I mumbled. I understood perfectly what she was doing. She was doing what she thought would bring our Syaoran back, and of course she thought that meant causing herself physical pain to add onto her mental discord. Soon she vanished from my sight, only the sounds of more beasts kept me aware of her condition. As long as they were making the racket they were now, she was alive. Gunshots. Silence. I took that as her surviving one more encounter. I let my eyes slide shut. Good. Now she just had to make it back to the others. I knew she would. She had gotten this far. The blessed feeling of sleep was passing over me when she somehow arrived to where I was strewn across the ground._

_ Her voice suffered from this hellhole as well, it seemed. "Eri?" Was what she croaked, just my name. I managed to open my eyes, and my up close look of her revealed my original assessment of her returning condition was but a comforting fairy tale. At the sight of her, I managed to crawl to me knees, and then shakily stand. While I might not live more than a couple hours, someone needed to make sure she got back in approximately one piece. She was staring off into the distance, bringing my attention to the faint tingling on the back of my neck. _

_ "Sakura," I stuttered, "Please tell me that that is a helping hand." Hands automatically going to whatever open wound they could find, I scanned for some glimpse of what she was seeing. _

_ "This way," She pointed in a vague direction, "Those who have passed…they're helping."_

_ I nodded, and followed her while concentrating on not falling over with each step. We both were hunched over, trying to prevent pulling on injuries._

_ "Why did you follow me?" Her whisper seemed to echo around us. _

_ I scanned the area, "I honestly didn't know what was going on, I just overheard that you had gone out here alone straight after waking up. So I snuck out and followed you." At this point she had slowed her pace enough that I could walk beside her, "And didn't I once make a promise that I would watch over you whenever…" I caught myself too late. Her face, already pulled tight and pale from pain, seemed to become wooden and blank. _

_ A slight rumble. Droplets. "Anyway," I continued distractedly, "I'm supposed to watch over you." If she had noticed she wasn't showing it. She was focused on the Government Building. It was so close. But I knew we weren't going to make it. The rain had started pouring down, and then it struck._

**~O~**

When I woke up, I knew I hadn't truly woken up. I was somewhere in between, and not in a good way.

I was in a long, open hall with no light or heat to speak of. I rubbed my hands up and down my arms glancing around. I had been in the void before, my magic training had required it. My tutor would say _"We must go where others dare not to conquer where they do. _In short, the void and I were good friends.

The void, as I was told, appeared differently to everyone. To me I saw black marble lining everything. Heavy draped covered the walls, soft whispers floating out from behind them. Which, of course added to the general creepiness of the area in general. My tutor told me they were the voices of those caught between life and death. I still had to clap my hands over my ears every time that thought came to mind.

I started walking forward, my boots clacking against the floor. The void had a near constant chill about it that made sure to let its current inhabitants know just how close they were to death.

My footsteps were being mirrored, and I looked up. A shadow pulled away from the wall, a smokey figure taking form. Shaping into a man.

He was old, but his large physique was rather intimidating. His slightly gray hair was slicked back, that combined with his monocle reminded me slightly of a hawk. A hawk that was honing in on its prey.

"Eri Tsukunori. A Termin at Shinran Sanctuary, the site of the bloody massacre that robbed you of your brother and sister. And gave you your health."

_That voice…_I knew him, he was somehow familiar, but I couldn't place his face.

"And how exactly do you know that?"

"I know because I've been watching over you, so to speak. Like a guardian." He kept walking towards me and I stumbled back a step. I didn't know who he was and he was _not _going to go all creepy-stranger-pops-the-bubble on me.

"Oh really? And did you enjoy watching me? Do you get your kicks watching that kind of stuff? Bloodshed and deaths by the hundreds, merciless genocide?" I scoffed. Guardian? Who the hell did he think he was?

"As a matter of fact, those subject matters do interest me. That isn't the topic at hand though." He finally stopped moving about five yards away from me.

"Then talk," I challenged. I didn't like the feel of this guy at all. "It must have taken a lot of effort to summon me here so you must have had something specific in mind."

"Indeed I did. The matter I wished to speak with you about is the group of people you are travelling with. What do you really know about them?"

That stopped me short, "I, well, I know they're good people."

He raised an eyebrow, "Are they really?" He started to walk to the side, "In no particular order you are travelling with someone who's whole country was killed on their account, they practically gave the order, someone who personally killed a quarter of their population because they were _bored, _someone who nearly destroyed space-time because of their own selfish desires, and someone who would kill all of you instantly if given the order. " He turned to me again, "Do you still think they are good people? Just because they took you in as a friend does not make them good, they were just accepting someone like them. That was no act of kindness, they wanted to feel better about themselves so the befriended you so they could console themselves that what they did was not nearly as horrible as the acts you have committed in your lifetime."

At this point I couldn't move, shaking in my spot, not able to look away from the man who was slowly tearing away all I had left that I could believe in.

"I…I don't believe you! I can't!" I choked out, "They're so good! Sakura and Syaoran are the kindest people I have ever met! Kurogane protects everyone all the time, making sure we're all safe! And Fai…" I looked the man in the eye, "Fai made me believe in something again!"

I was still shaking as I went on, "No matter what you say I will never not believe in them!"

He was in front of me, I don't know how or when he got there, but then he was pressing his fingers to my temple.

"Such a pity," He looked down at me as my muscles tensed up under his touch, "Are you afraid, child?"

And then I knew. This man, that voice, he was the one who brought my world tumbling around me the first time. I knew now that he was going to do it again.

_Pale face. Blood streaming from one eye. The pale one was being dragged across the floor by the other one. There he stood, water and blood dripping off his body in equal amounts. One eye had changed color- The body he was carrying was familiar, the shaggy fair hair..._

The burning was back, smothering me till I couldn't breathe. Till all I saw was red. Red. Blood smeared everywhere, a shrine burning in the background. The Shinran banner crimson on the wall. The bat symbol in front of my eyes as I fell to my knees in front of the man. The color of the same symbol being burned into my skin, my back, the skin smoking and charred under his ministrations.

I felt consciousness leaving once more as I heard the man's voice ringing in my ears, "You'll know when the time comes to act. I'm counting on you."

Red. The color of the first thing I saw when I woke up.

* * *

.Duuun.

Feel free to review and give me your thoughts on what the hell just happened! Thanks so much for the support you've given me so far!

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	9. Episode 8: The Crashing of Waves

Episode Eight: The Crashing of Waves

_"Alone, I often fall down into nothingness. I must push my foot stealthily lest I should fall off the edge of the world into nothingness. I have to bang my head against some hard door to call myself back to the body." -Virginia Wolfe, The Waves_

** ~O~**

A face full of petals was what I woke up to, draped over a tree branch. Branches were cutting into my arms, poking me uncomfortably. I was most likely going to have a bruise the shape of the branch I was hanging on imprinted into my abdomen.

Red petals were everywhere, my cheek brushing against them. I groaned, and tried to pull myself onto the branch.

"That you up there, kid?" Kurogane's gruff voice floated up.

"Uh-huh…" I moaned in response. There was a trick to pulling oneself onto a branch—a trick I seem to have forgotten. My grip slipped and I dropped through the branches roughly, landing with a very unladylike grunt on my butt.

"Owwww…" I complained, rubbing my back.

A hand offered itself in front of my face, Fai's smile following it as he leaned down. I grasped it uncertainly and allowed him to pull me up and lightly brush petals off my shoulders.

Kurogane was examining the area around us, and looked at me momentarily, "You're almost as bad as the princess, kid."

Ah, the fainting. Right. "It's not like I ask for it to happen," I grumbled, brushing the rest of the branches off my clothing.

"Yeah Kuro-tan! Ri-Ri is sick! You have to remember that!" Fai added from my side. He turned to me and remarked quietly, "You still have some on your back!" He moved to brush them off, but I jumped away the moment his hand made contact with my back. I gave a quiet hiss of pain, cringing at the sensation. It felt like a hot iron was being pressed into the small of my back.

The blonde gave me a questioning look and I chuckled tightly, "I must have hurt my back when I fell!"

He seemed to accept it and joined Kurogane, "We're lost, aren't we? I hope the others are okay…" He remarked, looking over the landscape. Seemingly growing bored with that, he turned to Kurogane, teasing smile at the ready, "You're angry, aren't you!"

"Since the demon wasn't actually a real demon?" I questioned, grasping at my back, "Actually what was it?"

"A tornado!" Fai exclaimed as Kurogane kicked the tree. "That is to say," He turned solemn, "Wasn't that country a bit strange?"

"What?"

Fai continued, "There were a lot of warm climate trees growing in that place, with really large leaves," He was smiling softly, but it was unsettling, "So it was considerably hot there."

"So what?" Kurogane took the bait.

"You have to consider this," I added, "The people living in that place were all light and fluffy. Isn't it strange for residents of the country to be like that? They weren't suited for that climate at all." I trailed off. Not to mention quite terrifying.

"While the others went away I had asked about their history." The way Fai smiled when he was like this gave me the creeps. "And even though they had said that they had always been living there, and that their houses had been destroyed by the tornado, they weren't always there." He continued, "Also, even though Sakura-chan's feather was so close by, Mokona didn't notice it."

I was starting to remember this, "Right," I said slowly, "They had said it fell from the sky..."

He nodded, "And then they just gave it to us, but-"

"If they had just been carrying it around Mokona would have sensed it." I finished. The reality of this was dawning on me. "For it to be that inconsistent…"

"Someone's plan?" Kurogane muttered.

"Perhaps." Fai responded softly while turning back to us. "Even if Sakura-chan could really hear the voice of the tornado, I feel their cute demeanor was quite skillfully deceiving. After all, Mokona changed after we found the feather, right?"

I sucked in a breath, so that whole place…maybe I was afraid of those things for good reason…

"You're not surprised," Fai remarked, turning to Kurogane.

"There have been times I've felt someone has been watching us. Ever since we started this journey, all the time." The ninja replied flatly.

"I just put it off as Yuko." I turned to Kurogane, "I'm not nearly as perceptive as you, but now that I look back on it, something has always been off. But how?"

"A place like the nothingness of the dimensional witch. That place was quite amazing." Fai offered.

The Void.

I tensed. _A shadow pulled away from the wall, a smoky figure taking form—shaping into a man. He was old, but his large physique was rather intimidating. His slightly gray hair was slicked back, combining with his monocle to remind me slightly of a hawk. A hawk that was honing in on its prey._

"Why didn't you say anything to Syaoran-kun?" I looked up as Fai turned back to annoying Kurogane. That place…that man…

"Even if I said something, it's no use." The ninja grumbled.

"Ah, Kuro-sama's so nice!"

"Don't decide that on your own," He responded flatly.

Running footsteps. I looked around sharply as men surrounded us.

"Who the hell are you? Underlings of the Yuuka District?"

Oh dear.

"This is a shrine!" Shouted one, "This isn't a place for things from the Yuuka District!" I felt one grab my arm in what felt like a vice. This wasn't happening, my back was screaming, we were in an unknown place, and I'd just been dropped out of a tree. I saw red. Whipping around, I grabbed his arm and twisted sharply. The man screamed as the bone snapped, stumbling away.

I backed away, perturbed, I had just broken his arm…when all he did was grab at me.

They drew swords and I could feel Kurogane's pleasure, "Just remember, you guys drew first, so don't go complaining afterwards." They charged. Okay, now I had reason. My skin charged and my magic ripped towards the men, relishing in the feel of letting the volatile substance out of my body.

A bolt struck the ground, opening a fissure that one of the men fell into and trapped himself between the walls, Another struck the tree, making them men who had hidden behind it jump away in fear.

Soon they were all on the ground around us in moaning heaps.

"That was so cool, Kuron-pyuu! Ri-Ri!" Fai was crying from behind us.

"I didn't see him doing anything…." I muttered and Kurogane twitched beside me. He swung his sword down at the blonde, who promptly caught it in his hands, moving it to and fro.

"You look like an idiot," Kurogane deadpanned.

"I couldn't get in the middle of you two!" Fai chuckled.

I smiled softly; surely, not these people…but then I realized just what we had done while staring at the men scattered around us. Several tried to get up and soon they were rushing us again.

"Stop." I turned

A man came walking towards us through the men, "Souseki-sama!"

"How did they break through the kekkai?!"

"Somehow they got in!"

The men were in an absolute frenzy compared to this supposed "Souseki". He had his long hair tied back, his glasses resting on the edge of his nose with a calm smile on his face. Something about him set me instantly at ease. I relaxed, allowing my charged skin to relax, my back no longer burning.

Fai chuckled, "We didn't break through it. We just landed inside of the kekkai from Mokona's mouth…you'll be confused if I tell you more."

I raised an eyebrow, "I think you confused them telling them just that."

The blonde responded by shrugging slightly.

The man answered with a smile, "No matter what, our men were violent towards you. We are very sorry." He bowed to us while his men exclaimed in shock. One could make the argument that we were quite violent in return…

"It's okay!" Fai answered. He grabbed Kurogane and I by the shoulders, "This guy looks very aggressive!" He turned to me, "And she's so cute, of course you wanted to steal her away!" He grabbed us both again, "How could you not mistreat us?!"

Cute? I'll kill him, I swear I will. I shoved him away, scowling.

"How dare you?!" Kurogane shouted at the "ditzy" blonde who waved him off easily.

Souseki turned towards me, "You are not from Shara Country?"

I scratched my head, "Heh, no. We're travelers…"

The men around us muttered, I caught something along the lines of "suspicious…" "Two men and one woman..? How improper…" I ground my teeth together, even though this Souseki guy may be against violence, his men sure were encouraging me to be rather violent towards them.

"There are two-no, three others!" Fai finished for me.

"That pork bun isn't a person." Kurogane muttered.

"So you have companions? Where are you to meet them?"

I chuckled uneasily, "That's kind of the problem, we don't exactly know where they are…we still have to find them."

"Well I'm sure they're trying to find you as well," I smiled in response, knowing they probably were. Sakura was most likely worried out of her mind. "If that's so you should find a place to rest first," He clapped his hands together, "Why don't you stay here?"

"Boss!"

"You can't let those suspicious people stay here!"

Souseki turned towards his men, still grinning; "We met by fate. How can we call this a shrine if we don't help them out?"

"Wha—!"

"What kind of place is this?" Fai questioned.

"It's a shrine," I answered. I should know well enough.

"A place to worship gods," Kurogane supplied.

"No," Souseki offered, "This is a shrine that protects people, not gods." He continued, "Let's get you cleaned up, shall we?"

~O~

Souseki led us through the shrine, the mood shining brightly on the courtyard as we passed through.

"It's really a beautiful place," Fai said softly, "Not only the buildings, but the air in this place is so fresh."

"This shrine has been protecting this country for a long time," Souseki replied.

"From what?"

The men from before were still trailing behind us and started to speak up in the forceful manner that I had gotten used to.

"From everything! It protects us from enemies, diseases, and other things!"

_ "_The people who protect this shrine are Souseki-sama's family!" One cried proudly.

"Every generation there will be people with great power!"

"Similar to Shinto shrines and Shinto priests." Kurogane offered.

I cocked my head, "Huh?"

He sighed, "People who serve god and protect the shrines."

"So you have those in Japan too?"

"We have shrines, but not priests, instead we have maiden princesses."  
"That's who sent Kuro-tan away?" Fai ventured.

"Uh-huh."

"If you don't know about Shara shrines you must be from very far away…" The men were creeping up on us again and I stiffened. I shouldn't have worried; Kurogane silenced them all with a glare as Fai responded with a bright, "That's right!"

I felt a tingling in my neck the same time as Fai looked up again, our eyes met and he nodded imperceptibly.

"Something feels weird." I murmured.

"How come?" Souseki blinked.

"Not only around this place," Fai pointed towards a door ahead of us, "Over there."

I raised an eyebrow as he continued, "Is it a kekkai again? Besides that, there is an even stronger force!"  
"Protecting something that's inside? "I offered. Fai nodded again, smiling down at me.

Souseki looked at the three of us, "Your swordsmanship, your spiritual skill, and your intuition…" Souseki gestured to each of us. _Spiritual skill? I guess that's what they call magic here. _"You are not ordinary travelers, are you?"

He looked down, "Maybe this is also fate." He opened the door Fai had pointed out, I could see seals hanging throughout the room, "Let me explain it to you, the things that are happening now."

We walked through the room to see a large statue of a man sitting in the center. "Let me tell you the story of this statue of Yasha."

Something was off…I watched as blood started to drip down from the statue's scarred eye. I took a step back, eyes wide. _What the hell? _

"Every fall, when the moon is at its zenith, the statue of Yasha seems to be in pain and he will shed tears of blood." Souseki told us, his calm demeanor never faltering. "This is the time when the Suzuranichiza, who reside in the Yuukaku District, return each year from travelling. The day that they return each year, something happens to the young generation of our tribe."

"Every year starting which year?" Fai questioned softly.

"It was long before I inherited this temple. Form the writing of the founder, my great grandfather, a record already exists that lead him to believe there was a relation between Suzuranichiza and the Yasha's shedding tears of blood. Ever since they started to reside here, odd things have occurred." Souseki looked towards us, "My great grandfather had a theory that it could be related to the guardian of the Suzuranichiza, the Ashura statue."

"Ashura…? Isn't that the god of war?" Kurogane questioned while staring at the statue.

"It is," Souseki answered, "The god of war…and bad luck. Yasha manages the dark and the road to hell. My grandfather believed that Yasha sheds tears of blood to warn us of Ashura's bad luck."

I shivered—the whole thing was too creepy for my tastes.

"Souseki-sama," One of the men called out, "it's time for the ceremony."

"I'm going now." The bespectacled man answered, and turned back towards us, "I believe there must be a reason that travelers such as yourself have come to this shrine at this particular time." He smiled at us, "Before you meet your friends, please stay and rest here." With a parting nod, he left.  
"So this statue," I started, "For whatever reason, is giving a warning by crying?"

"I wonder if there is any other reason for that…" Fai murmured, staring at the thing in question.

One of the men from before came into the room, "I'll escort you to your room now."

I nodded quickly, "Thank you." Taking one last look at the crying statue through the closing door, we walked away.

**~O~**

I stood in the washroom, getting ready to take a bath. I hissed slightly as I pulled off my dress, the fabric sticking to my back. I turned around to look at it in the mirror_; I must have cut it on the fall down…_

I froze when I saw it, _the color of the same symbol being burned into my skin, my back, the skin smoking and charred under his ministrations. _The skin around it was tender to the touch, the skin swollen from being burned. _What happened to me? _I recalled going to the void, but so much of it was fuzzy, like an out of focus lens had been placed over my memories.

There was a knock on the door and I pulled my robe on hurriedly, "Y-yes?" I answered, voice quivering.

"Ri-Ri?" Fai's voice floated through the door, "I found you some towels, we wouldn't want you to catch a cold!"

I nodded, then realizing he couldn't see that, I called out, still trembling, "T-thank you…"

The door opened and the blonde stepped in. Scrambling, I desperately pulled my robe tightly closed.

"Don't you have any shame!" I shrieked, blushing to my roots, "You don't walk into a washroom when there is a lady present!"

Fai laughed, "It was a risk I was willing to take! You aren't mad at me, are you Ri-Ri? Am I making you nervous?"

_"Are they really? In no particular order you are travelling with someone who's whole country was killed on their account, they practically gave the order, someone who personally killed a quarter of their population because they were bored, someone who nearly destroyed space-time because of their own selfish desires, and someone who would kill all of you instantly if given the order. "_

I blinked slowly, "Yes, I suppose you are." I turned shaking back to the sink. _What the hell happened to me? _

I felt a soft, warm hand on my shoulder, "Are you alright?" He murmured softly.

I nodded, "Yes, I think so." Lies. Utter lies. I was ready to hyperventilate. The person I was taking comfort in was the source of my uneasiness. How does that work?

"Remember that conversation we had about lying about how we truly feel?" He sounded slightly amused and I found myself giving a chuckle.

"I remember you shrinking from doing things like this." I teased slightly, relaxing under his touch. I turned towards him, making sure that he kept contact with my shoulder. His hand was warm on my skin, the sleeve of my robe slipping off my shoulder. For some reason I always thought his bare touch would be cold, just like him. "Why is that?" I asked softly, keeping my eyes on his.

The air seemed so close, the steam of the bath filling the air, making us seem so much closer to each other than we really were. The last world we were in, Fai had held in his arms and I hadn't felt so close to him as I did now. The things this man did to me…

"You shouldn't worry about me," He responded, equally soft. His other hand stroked my hair and I found myself leaning into his hand, nuzzling it softly.

"You worry about me, "I countered, finally looking into his eyes. He looked troubled, still smiling down at me. "You came in here, knowing something might happen, because you were worried about me."

He shook his head slightly, seemingly absorbed with the strand of my hair he held in his hand, glistening darker in the soft light, "It isn't the same. You _shouldn't _worry about me."

I raised an eyebrow, "I'll worry about you if I want to."

His smile tilted, "I wouldn't expect anything else from you,"

It was then, with him actually smiling at me with some tenderness, that I realized the situation we were in. My robe was halfway down my arm, leaving me almost exposed. The room full of steam, the distance between us had been downright indecent. I squeaked and pushed him towards the door.

"Out! Out right now Flourite!" He chuckled as I pushed him to the door.

He stopped at the opening, "It's good when you smile, Ri-Ri."

I flushed even more, if that was possible. How could this man, albeit flakey as he was, be as horrible as the man in the Void said? I couldn't believe it.

I take no responsibility for my next actions, it must have been the steam, my being disoriented, or some magic he was working, but in that moment I decided it would be a great idea to place my hands lightly on top of his shoulders and pull myself up. Doing so I lightly brushed my lips over his and dropped down off the balls of my feet.

The both of us stood there in a moment, shock paralyzing at us at the incredibly _idiotic, stupid, _thing I just did. Then I shoved him out into the hallway and slammed the door shut.

Some things you just don't have to deal with right away.

* * *

Soo, super quick update. I'm quite proud of myself, honestly. So...a bit of a filler in the beginning, but we get some plot in at the end ;)

Tell me what you think!

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